


Returning home

by waterbugged



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Children, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Consensual Sex, Conspiracy, Elves, F/M, Female Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Misunderstandings, Overprotective Dwarves, Slow Burn, Stubborn Dwarves, Thorin's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-01-22 01:38:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1571207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbugged/pseuds/waterbugged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle of five armies Billa Baggins was banished from the Lonely mountain, a rule set in place by King Thorin, who had lost his life claiming back his home. The banishment was upheld by King Fili, so she fled to the elves, carrying the Arkenstone in her pocket and a child in her womb.</p><p>Five years later and Billa must return to mountain with out or without the King's permission, taking her young son with her. The only things is, Thorin never died after the battle, and is the true King under the mountain, the company know of her return, and rush out to meet her. They have no idea that Thorin is a father.</p><p>Raising her child under the mountain would be hard enough. Now she must deal with the one person she thought she would never see again, all while trying to survive a plot to get rid of them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, sadly I own nothing here, but I am enjoying writing these characters. 
> 
> If there is anything glaringly wrong, please let me know, I haven't written anything in a while.
> 
> The title is also rubbish, so if anyone has any better suggestions please give me a shout.

Billa Baggins sat at her window, unshed tears highlighted by the fire flies that buzzed merrily in the moonlight. For five years she had tried to forget that blasted mountain. To forget the ache in her heart when she thought of her dwarves, even now she thought of them as her own. It had hurt so much to leave them, broken her heart to know that they wanted her gone.

She had run, it had taken a long time to admit that, Billa just couldn't find the fight within her anymore. A stranger had delivered the news to her outside of the mountain gates. Thorin was dead. Dead. The king under the mountain had banished her from the home she had helped claim, and it had broken her to know he had died with such hatred for her. That he had been taken from Fili and Kili, taken from the ones who loved him. Taken from her. 

It was unfair, but as she had found out, life was very rarely fair.

Billa hadn't remembered what Gandalf had spoken to her about as he had guided her from Erebor, nothing had made sense to her until they had reached Rivendell. It was Lord Elrond who had managed to get through her grief, told her of the gift she had left Erebor with.

At first Billa thought he had meant the Arkenstone, which had been thrust upon her by a distraught Fili, begging her to take to jewel that had destroyed so much. The blonde prince was the only one of the company she had set eyes on before leaving, she hadn't even been sure that they all survived. Fili would say nothing else to her, other than to take the stone and Billa knew she had lost her family.

It turned out that Lord Elrond had meant something much more valuable than a glowing gem. A child. Billa Baggins of Bag-end was carrying a babe within her womb. It had been the shock she had needed to stir back to life, the grief was still raw, but there was someone she must fight for, and if Billa Baggins had learned anything on her journey it was how to fight.

Billa smiled wistfully as she recalled when Frerin had been placed into her arms by Elrond's daughter Arwen (for the elves had insisted she stay in order to oversee her pregnancy, the stubbornness of dwarves was easily matched by the elves). She had ached more than she'd known was possible, and her exhaustion seemed to reach her very bones, but there was a love there so strong she had cried and whispered promises of protection and sacrifice.

Now here she was, five years later sitting in Bag-end, the parchment in front of her and a quill in her hand, Billa felt a sense of dread. Her little Frerin was not a hobbit, not entirely, and she knew that he deserved to see his homeland. His questions had become constant, and Billa knew she could not lie, even at five Frerin knew he was different. Taller than even the tallest Hobbit faunts at five he was stronger, faster and had a fascination for weapons. A fascination that could see him, or those around him hurt without the proper training. Billa had tried to find a tutor in Bree and even in the Shire, but there was no one who could teach Frerin what he needed to learn.

Still, he had a hobbit's appetite, his smaller feet were never covered and he understood the need for home comforts, yet her little badger was also a dwarf. A dwarf in the line of Durin, and she didn't want to return, but she knew she must. For Frerin and for the arkenstone that she had hidden in her closet. 

Sealing the envelope before she lost her never she took a deep breathe poured a cup of tea.

The letter would be sent in the morning post, and she prayed that the new King under the Mountain would allow her to return.


	2. 2

Thorin sat quietly, trying desperately to pay attention to the arguing dwarves in front of him. It was something regarding a courting gone awry, the traditions not being followed, and despite it being an important matter Thorin just did not care.

"Uncle," Fili hissed again, nudging him quickly with his elbow and Thorin caught his nephews eye he got the impression this was not the first time he had been called.

The court was watching him, waiting for his judgement and he sat a little straighter, coughing, his voice ringing out, "Gleli will continue his courting of the dwarrow Verrow, if she wishes" he held up a hand against the sound of dispute. The red headed dwarrow was grinning at Gleli, obviously happy to continue. "Let it been know that It has been acknowledged that he has forgotten our traditions. Verrow's family will be given a chaperone to ensure this does not happen again, and Gleli will be expected to complete a task of worthy before he may continue." He looked at the elders of both families, "You have one week to decide the task, you will report to Balin in that time"

Balin, who stood at his left nodded and made a note in the book open before him and the council murmured in agreement. "Court is now closed," Thorin announced, and before anyone could argue with that he stood up and left, Fili following quickly behind him.

"What was that about uncle? Are you okay?" Fili's blonde brows were drawn together in concern and Thorin allowed himself a small smile, "I'm fine Fil-"

"Uncle!!" Thorin sighed as Kili shouted through the halls, dwarves turning to look as his youngest nephew bounded up to him, a gleam in his eyes the King had not seen for a while.

"Thorin, Fili, we've got a letter!" The brunette panted, waving an envelope in the air which Fili quickly snatched. "Hey, give that back." Kili made a grab for it and pretty much ended up climbing up his brother, nearly kicking the King in the face.

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose, growling, uttering a "why me," before turning around and smacking them both upside the head. "Kili, we always get letters, this is why we have a mail room to sort and read these for us."

Kili pouted as Thorin was unaware that Fili was already reading the letter, face pale and mouth slightly open. "Yes but Thorin,"

"Nothing Kili," Thorin cut him off as he began to walk down the hall, his youngest was now the one to follow him, "You are a prince, you can't run down the halls anymore. More so your mother will kill me if you fall. Again."

"Uncle," Fili's soft whisper drew him back, "This letter." Thorin felt dread creep up his spine at the look of Fili's face, what news could have befallen them now? "This letter is from Billa."

Thorin felt the air leave his lungs, Billa, just hearing her name bought back memories of a soft body, golden curls and eyes that looked like warm honey. Eyes that had looked on in horror as he had hung her from the battlements, fingers digging into his wrists as he banished her from his home, from their home. It took him a moment to compose himself, ignoring the dwarves that were now openly staring and trying to eavesdrop. "Gather the company and your mother, we will discuss this letter in my reception room. They deserve to hear whatever she has written."

It did not take long for everyone to assemble, chatting amongst themselves. Dwalin growling loudly about his newest recruits in the royal guard to anyone who would listen. Bombur was running around serving his own special brew of tea, loud slurps echoed around the room. Only Kili and Fili knew they reason why they were here and only Bofur, Balin and Dis seemed to notice how subdued the young princes were.

The doors flung open and Thorin strode in, the letter still in his hand. The words had been burned into his brain. Billa was coming home. "What is this about Thorin? I've got recruits to beat, I mean train." Dwalin's smile slipped as he looked at his king's face. The rest of the company had his undivided attention.

"We have received news from our little burglar." Thorin said, trying to ignore the way his voice sounded thick. Silence met him for a moment before the uproar. He knew what they were thinking. Billa had left them, Thorin could understand her not saying goodbye to himself but not to the company. They had become family, and for her to abandon them after the battle, with no note, no word for five years had hurt deeply.

"What does the letter say laddie?" Balin spoke softly, and Thorin handed it to him, he could not read it aloud. Balin nodded, skimming it briefly before starting to read, the others hanging on every word.

_To the King under the Mountain._

_Dear Fili,_

_I hope that you may forgive me for this, but I have no where else to turn._

_I am sorry for this letter, and the trouble it may cause you, I know that you have responsibilities to your kingdom. There are things that I wish I could explain to you in a letter, but I do not trust whose hands this could fall into._

_I do not know if my banishment still holds, but I must return to your mountain. By the time this letter reaches you I will be preparing my journey, hopefully It will not be as perilous as the last time as my cargo is precious and must be bought back to you._

_I understand if you do not wish me to set foot in Erebor, but I must try. Please understand, and just allow me a few minutes of your time to explain and to see the others. If I must leave I wish to be able to say goodbye._

_Hoping this letter finds you, and that you, Kili and your mother Lady Dis are well._

_Yours, Billa Baggins._

 

It was Ori who spoke first, knitting needles gripped tightly, "She thinks Fili is king."

Everyone turned to Fili who looked wide eyed. "I didn't tell her that!" He looked at his brother, "Kee, help me out here."

Kili turned his eyes to Thorin, arms crossed over his chest, "Fili would never tell anyone that uncle, I don't why Billa would think Fili is king."

Dis reached over and patted her boys on the knees, leveling Thorin with a glare that make a Warg second guess attacking her. "Your uncle knows this boys, something, or someone has led our little hobbit astray."

Dori, who had been standing next to Nori nodded, "Aye, something has, from the sounds of it she thinks our dear King perished after the battle. It would have been the only thing that would allow Fili to take your throne"

Nori scratched his beard, the spy-master's eyes were alight with mischief and revenge. A look that was usually reserved for those that messed with his youngest brother. "I think I will organize some reconnaissance on this matter, it's been five years, but things like this don't die. Especially if Billa is on her way back."

Thorin nodded, a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, the company would rally behind him, would rally behind Billa.

"If she's coming back, we have to meet her. We can't let her going alone out there." It was Bofur who spoke up, his usual cheerful face was grim and determined. Thorin knew that the miner had been deeply hurt by Billa's leaving, he had been the first to offer the hobbit friendship on their journey. Yet Bofur was still loyal to Billa, and eager for answers.

Dwalin nodded from his overstuffed arm chair, a cupcake shoved into his mouth. "If her cargo is as precious as she makes it out to be, I'd say that was a fair wager." He raised a bushy eyebrow, "Any idea what she'd be carrying?"

"It's the Arkenstone," Fili said and Dwalin nearly choked, spraying cupcake crumbs at Dis. He tried to apologies, turning bright red in process as Dis handed him a jug of water.

"I believe what my brother is trying to say is how did the lass come by that little trinket?" Balin asked. The eldest prince drew himself up in the chair, "I gave it to her, with Thorin's permission." His stare dared the others to object, but it was pointless. Thorin and the those in this room knew of the corruption the Arkenstone carried, knew that they had nearly lost their king to it's lust.

Dis stood, brushing of the crumbs from her dress, "I'd say at this point speculation is pointless and we must meet Billa and bring her back to us. She's a smart girl, she would not just jump to a conclusion that Thorin had died, someone wanted to get rid of her."

Everyone could agree on that, and the thought made Thorin's blood boil with rage. Billa belonged here, without her that dragon would still own this mountain, and the dwarves that now resided here would be still be living in exile. "Bofur is right," Dis continued, knowing that her brother was plotting a nasty revenge for whoever was behind this, "We can't let her go it alone, and if her letter is accurate she should be on her way. If we send a group now then we can meet her in Rivendell."

"I'll go," Bofur was the first to volunteer, followed quickly by the princes, Balin, and Dwalin.

Dis nodded but turned to her sons, "Fili, you will stay here, Kili will go." She held up a hand before they could argue. "Billa thinks that Fili is king and Thorin is dead, we need her to believe this for now if we are to find out the truth. Bombur will get your supplies ready and Oin will pack you some remedies, hopefully you wont need them, but I'll be having you all coming back in one piece." Bombur and Oin nodded and left quickly, there was work to be done.

Thorin smiled at Dis, his sister could be a terrifying force when she put her mind to it, and just plain scary when she didn't. "You'll leave at first light, Nori I want your ears on the ground for this, only your best." Thorin said and the spymaster nodded, turning to his brothers, "We've got work to do lads,"  Dori and surprisingly Ori got up and followed him out.

Thorin was not sure what role the youngest Ri brother was to play, but he knew he shouldn't underestimate him. Especially considering who his elder brothers were. His nephews seemed to share his sentiments as they watched the door with confused smiles.

Dwalin was busy in discussion with Gloin, who he would be leaving in charge of the recruits while he was gone. Bofur was having a similar heated conversation with Bifur, which mines still needed the most work, which were now safe for the miners. The room was full of an excited tension and for the first time in five years Thorin allowed himself a little bit of hope.


	3. Three

Billa sighed as she tugged the cloak over Frerin's head, "Mamma, I don't want to wear this!"  
"I know badger, but you must. I'll be wearing one just like it." She smiled down, indicating her own attire as he just looked at her with those big blue eyes, and a pout that reminded her of Erebor's youngest prince. Some things were just inherited it seems.

  
"You need to wear this so we can remain unseen and warm. It's a long way to the mountain and we need to be careful." She hadn't told her son what perils could await them, but the boy was no fool, and her trusted sting, strapped to her side spoke of untold danger. He had never seen the sword and Billa had kept that one part of her hidden, when she had finally rummaged through piles of books to get it she had been reluctant. The sword,if possible held memories, and not ones she was keen on re-living.

Finally the lad nodded, relenting on the matter.

Billa supposed she could allow him this little bit of griping. Frerin had been surprising reluctant to leave the shire at first, but still accepting his mother's wishes. For all his curiosity about the family he had never met the lad had friends here, a life, and Billa was taking him away from it all.

It had taken her four months to set aside everything she had needed to, and each night she had lay in her bed wide awake, wondering if it was the right thing to do. Billa had always been strong, independent and a tad rebellious, well that's what her mother had crowed.

Yet deep down the hobbit wished she could have spoken to someone, anyone about what was eating away at her. No one else had ever left the shire. It was true that since she had come back there were those who were willing to think about the possibilities of what life was like outside of their holes, but it was not quite walk across middle earth adventurous. In that sense Billa was still on her own.

"Is the mountain big? Will we get to meet dwarves? What about the king? Frodo said that kings wear big crowns and you have to bow to them."  
Billa raised an eyebrow as her son jumped into her thoughts, demonstrating a bow. His dark curls almost brushed the ground as he toppled forward into her outstretched arms. Scooping him up she chuckled, "We may want to work on that little faunt. It would do no good to face plant the floor." 

Setting him on the wagon she checked the ponies harness. "But yes, you will meet dwarves, but I don't know about the king, they are usually very busy." _I don't know if he would want to see me_ , she thought bitterly. Fili hadn't responded, she wasn't sure he had even read the letter. Yet she had to try.

The sun had begun to rise, birds just starting their morning chirps. Billa took one last look at the shire, trying to take everything in. It hadn't been quite this still the last time she had left.

Bag-end would be safe in the hands of trusted family, they would be kind to the old place she had made sure of that. All of her accounts had been settled, the few treasures she wouldn't part with settled in the back of the wagon.

Patting her waistcoat she felt a familiar shape, for sewn to the inside of her blouse, wrapped in silk was the Arkenstone. Billa was sick of knowing it was in her home, sick of knowing what this stone had caused. Could almost feel it weighing her down, liking nothing more than to throw it into the nearest stream. The more rational side of her knew that she couldn't, and that it to must find it's way back to the mountain.

Hoisting herself into the wagon she took the reigns in her hands and with Frerin bouncing with excitement she took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! 
> 
> I've written on the next four or five chapters, slowly editing them around work! If there is anything you would like to see in the story, or if you have any ideas on how it could be improved then just drop me a comment. 
> 
> Thanks everyone :)


	4. Four

The journey had been uneventful for the most part, keeping to themselves and veturing into the towns only when needed. It was easy for those to overlook Billa, but Frerin had not learn to be nearly as inconspicuous. His traveling habits seemed to be all dwarf. At their first market his hands had been into everything, much to the annoyance of the stall owners. Frerin, when asked to get his little hands out of their produce had just merely asked _why_.  
  
Still Frerin had been quite content to explore when she would allow it. Everything new and exciting, and even though the food had been rationed he didn't complain, agreeing with her, his little face set and determined. It was a look that if any dwarf of Erebor saw would instantly recognize as Thorin, and each time Billa saw it she felt her spirits lifted.  
  
They made camp that night on the outskirts of the trees, Frerin had sat in her lap, demanding stories of giant eagles and wayward wizards. Even bed time stories that had been passed down through her father's family, he seemed specially fond of the more boring tales of the stubborn ponies.  
Yet despite the wagon and the comforts that Billa had brought with them the travel was hard and not long after he was asleep in his bag as Billa began to put out the fire.

She never had a chance to react as a strong arm gripped her round the chest and hauled her up. Feet dangling as the heat from the embers scolded her feet. _I didn't hear him coming! How could I not hear him coming_ , she screamed at herself, desperately clawing at the wiry arm.  
  
A clammy breath whispered in her ear, sending shivers of repulsion up her spine, bile rising in her throat. "Make a noise and I'll slit you ear to ear, and then I'll go for that little sprog of yours." Billa grit her teeth so hard she felt her head pound as the knife pressed to her throat. Could feel the pinch of skin, knowing that he had drew blood.   
  
"Mama," Frerin's voice was small and in the twilight she could make out impossibly round eyes and a pale face. "Run badger," she managed to croak out and when he didn't move she let out a roar, that even took her by surprise.  
  
"RUN!"   
  
He took off quickly, feet scrambling through the mud and Billa felt the pressure of the knife draw back for just a second. It was all she needed. Throwing her weight up into his chin and nose, kicking back and feeling his knee crunch under her heel.  
  
She was dropped to the floor, and she could practically hear Dwalin barking in her head telling her to get up. Get moving, and get armed. Pulling out sting she watched as her assailant; a thin, greasy haired bandit snarled at her, wiping blood from his nose. "You'll pay for that, I'll have your coin and you before I hunt down that little bastard." Billa was panting as she took up a fighters stance, heart hammering in her chest, sword by her side. "Nobody will be touching my son."  
  
"I think the lady is right, don't you?" Billa almost dropped her sword, swearing under her breath as another one came up behind her, but his arrow was not pointed at her.   
  
Hazarding a look at the hooded figure she could just make out the smile on a stubbled face. "Leave Morrigan, I've already alerted the mayor to you, his law enforcement should be tracking you down as we speak."  
  
Morrigan looked around, beady eyes trying desperately to see further in the darkness. "You're lying."   
"It makes no difference to me if you think I am, but if you don't leave now my arrow will find it's way in your skull." This seemed to jolt Morrigan into action and he bolted off into trees.   
  
Billa wasted no time in turning her sword on the new figure before her, "I have no money, and nothing of value." A deep chuckle almost had her lowering her sword, but she was no fool. Not anymore, not for a kind voice. "I require none of this things mistress hobbit." He pulled off his hood, eyes so green that she became homesick for rolling fields looked down at her from a slightly hooked nose. "My name is Jacob and I happened to hear your plight," he scanned the tree line, frowning as he put the arrow back in it's quiver. "I heard you shouting run to someone, was there more in your party?"  
  
 _Frerin_ , Billa dropped the sword, whatever colour  that had remained in her cheeks drained as she ran towards the trees. "Frerin!" She called, "Frerin!" How far could he have run? Would Morrigan have found him? She could feel the panic starting to thud against her chest.  
  
"Mama," the voice came from above her and she skidded to a halt, looking up to see her son dangling from the tree branches.

"Oh you clever, clever boy," she crooned, sagging in relief, _he's going to give me a heart attack one of these day_ s. "You can come down now darling, it's okay."   
  
 A moments pause, "I'm stuck."   
  
"Allow me," Jacob held is arms up, "Jump down little one, I'll catch you." Billa didn't quite know what to do, this man had saved them both, but how well could she trust him?   
  
_You need an ally, you can't do this alone_ , a voice argued and Billa knew what she had to do. Knew not to refuse a possible ally, not when they were pretty much dumped into her lap.  
  
"It's okay badger, you can trust him."   
  
"Okay." Frerin jumped, trusting his mother and was easily caught in Jacob's arms, being swung around before resting in the crook of the man's arm. The little hobbit stared at his savior, running a hand along the strong chin. "Your face is itchy."  
Jacob laughed, it's sound rich and hearty and Billa found herself smiling up at them, "That is is little one, I'm due a good shave, but it's hard to do it in wild." He pinched Frerin's bare face with a gloved hand, "By golly! You've got a bigger beard than me!"    
  
Frerin giggled as Jacob set him on the ground with an indignant cry of, "No I don't!" The lad looked to Billa and to the man in front of him before he stuck out a hand from under his cloak "My name is Frerin Baggins."   
  
Jacob took it gently in his own, "I am Jacob, and I'm very glad I stumbled upon you both." Frerin looked up at Billa, bottom lip starting to tremble, "Has the bad man gone?"   
"Yes darling, Jacob here chased him off." She picked up her son, who nestled his face into her hair. Billa could feel the adrenaline leave his body and he began to tremble in her arms."I think we have a bit to discuss."

 

                                                                                          x  
  
  
"My name is Billa Baggins," She introduced herself as she scooped out a bowl of left over rabbit stew and handed it to Jacob,  
"You are along way from the Shire Miss Baggins," He stated eating slowly.   
 Billa sighed, glancing at the small form of Frerin by her side, the faunt had refused to leave her, but had finally given into his exhaustion.   
  
Wiping away the drying blood on her neck she patted the lump within her jacket. How much should she tell him? The risks were great, but she thought of the bandit he had just chased off and she though of her young son. He could have killed them, it would have been easy. Billa knew she had a chance of winning, but it would have been more luck than skill. What if next time there were more of them? She could not leave Frerin alone. Would not. "We are heading to the lonely mountain."  
  
Jacob's heavy eyebrows shot up, "Erebor? I mean no harm but why are you traveling so far, and with one so young?"   
"I have business to attend to, that I must attend to." Another glance at her son and Jacob put his bowl down.  
"Well if you have no objection I am heading to Rivendell and if you would be willing to take that route I would be more than happy to accompany you."  
  
"That's very kind and by Eru we could use your bow but I can't pay you." Billa wished she could, she was beginning to think she could  warm to Jacob. His protectiveness reminded her of the dwarves she had left behind.

  
 "I do this for my own piece of mind miss, I am heading there anyway and couldn't rest easy knowing I had left the two of you out here." Billa smiled, tears springing to her eyes, it was silly she knew, but it had been a long time since anyone had looked out for her. "I believe I will take you up on your offer Jacob."  
  
  
                                                                                              x  
  
"Now lift your arm up, a little more. It will hurt your fingers but you must be strong. Put your index finger on your chin. Deep breath. There you go!" Jacob's voice was gentle as he knelt next to Frerin, the bow in his small hands. Billa had not been happy when the little rascal had asked to be taught, but there were worse things to learn, and it had kept him occupied for the few weeks they had been traveling. It had been taking them longer than expected, but the attack had left her and Frerin wary and Jacob was still a stranger. 

Frerin let whoop of joy as the arrow flew from the bow, it didn't go far but she let out a cheer of encouragement. "Did you see that mama? Look how far it went!"  
"I saw faunt, you did very well, now come on, dinner is ready. Then you can carry on with your training." The two cleaned up in the near by stream as she served up the stew. The rations were running thin as she had not expected to be feeding three, but they would be in Rivendell in a couple of months. Billa knew of a few traders from her travels with Lord Elrond, she just hoped she would be well met without her elven family.

  
She handed the bowls over and the two began to eat quickly, stew dribbling down Frerin's chin. Billa rolled her eyes and sat down, enjoying the sun on her back as she ate more slowly than her ravenous child. "Jacob?" Frerin asked around his spoon, "Do you think I could get as good as you at the bow?"  
 Jacob, although also eating like a starving warg had better manners than a five year old and swallowed his mouthful before replying. "Of course, but you must practice. It's a hard thing to master. If you ask the elves in Rivendell they may teach you a bit."  
  
Frerin turned to Billa, "Do you think Uncle Elladan and Elrohir will help me?"

  
"You know the elves of Rivendell?" Jacob asked and Billa nodded.

  
"Frerin was born in Rivendell, and we were kind of adopted by the elves." Billa smiled, wiping her badger's chin with a cloth before handing out more stew. "Do you know them? Is that why you're traveling to Rivendell?"

  
They had not spoken much on the journey so far, both trying to adjust to traveling with someone new. Billa was not worried too much, it had been very much the same with the dwarves for the first month of the journey. To share with someone you don't know, to live, eat and sleep in their company took time.  
  
Jacob's smile was warm, "I return to Rivendell roughly every year to spend time with my sister Lilah and my nieces." Billa noticed the blush that was creeping across his cheeks, those green eyes twinkling."I also go to meet my ilma."

  
"Wassat?"

  
"Do not talk with your mouth full young man. Swallow that right now, did you put a whole potato in your mouth again?"  
  
Frerin swallowed hard, eyes watering. "Sorry mama. What does that mean?"

  
"It means my starlight, the one for whom I breath." Jacob said.

  
The young lad stuck out his tongue, "You mean a girl."

  
"I do yes, Areleé is the one I am going to see. Do you know her?"

  
Billa nodded, thinking of the fair haired elf. "We do, I also know your sister."

  
"I'm not sure I like that smile Billa, it's the same smile my nieces give me." Jacob scowled, "how well do you know my sister?"  
Billa chuckled as she wiped Frerin's hands clean, not that it would do much good, her son seemed to attract dirt and mess. "Well enough to know a few embarrassing stories about her brother. Not well enough to recognize you as her kin, it's been a long time since we've seen them."

  
"She makes nice muffins, Grandada Elrond and aunt Arwen always try to steal them from me." Frerin pouted.

  
"Aunt Arwen? Lord Elrond?" 

  
Billa felt quite sheepish, "They may have been the ones who adopted us."   
Jacob just nodded, Billa had found that the young man accepted most thing with a nod and a smile, "I have spoken to Lord Elrond on occasion, he's a good elf, and most accepting of my family. It's been a while since my last visit sadly, I've been in Harlindon for the last fourteen months."

  
Billa had heard of Harlindon, situated just past the Blue mountain. Travelers used to pass by the shire but never through it, tending to venture through Annuminas. That had been many generations ago, there was not much left in the once green city. "That's a long way to travel, even longer to spend so much time in a dying forest."

 

 Jacob shivered despite the heat of midday and the green cloak he wore, "I'll agree with you on that. It wasn't my idea, nor my teams. We were requested to go."

  
"Was it scary? Who would make you go?" Frerin asked from the middle of them both.

  
"It was little one, but we were asked by a friend, who despite what he says likes to meddle in the affairs of others all the time."

  
"Gandalf?" Billa queried and Jacob grinned,

  
"Who else? Mithrandir asked me to gather up as many rangers as I could on the way but said I needed to get there as fast as the wind could carry me."

  
"What did you find?"

  
"Nothing at first, Harlindon has very few living there now since the elves left. There is a small city near the docks, but the forest is sick. Very sick, the men refused to tell us about it." Jacob looked up at Billa, and she saw the haunted look, had seen it on the faces of thirteen others back in Mirkwood. Billa new this sickness, and could not imagine spending so long in such a dark place. "I lost three men in that forest, and not once did we see what it was."

  
"I'm sorry," Billa said, her tone hushed, the birds chirping a stark contrast to the conversation. It was Frerin who placed his small hand on Jacob's who clasped it tightly. "Thank you, both of you. This is why I'm returning to Rivendell in part, to tell Lord Elrond."

  
"Well, whatever it is I'm sure Gandalf will be able help. He's got eyes and ears all over the place, even a nose every now and then." Billa offered, anything to rid the pain from those kind eyes.

  
Jacob's chuckle was thick as he swung Frerin into his arms, "Oh I have no doubt about that. Now little one, I don't know about you but there is a perfectly good paddling stream down there and I need to cool down."

  
Frerin almost tumbled out of Jacob's arms with excitement, "Can we mama?"

  
"You can, just be careful. Watch him please Jacob."

  
"With my life mistress hobbit," they both bowed to her, a habit that Frerin had adopted from the ranger.

"You both think you're so cute don't you?" She tried to glower, but couldn't help the twitch of her lips.

  
"I am cute mama, you tell me all the time."

  
"I'm also rather cute, if I do say so myself. Infact-"

  
Billa cut them both off, starting to pick up the bowls, "Get out of here, the both of you."  
  
  
                                                                                            x

  
_In Erebor._  
  
Moving slowly he felt his way along the tunnels, the mountain rock cool beneath his large hands, closing around him, almost suffocating. These were not tunnels created by dwarves, but rather by the mountain herself, and as such, prone to stretching, collapsing. A power to be feared, a power the even King Thoin could not contend with.   
  
_King Thorin_ , the words filled him with anger, it boiled and coursed through every fibre of his being, almost made him shout out in his solitude. He was smarter than this, he scolded himself, getting it under control. These tunnels were essential to their work, it would do no good to draw attention to them. It had taken longer than any of them had ever expected, working through the guilds, gaining power. Watching Thorin's company, learning them, helping to rebuild Erebor and Dale.   
  
They had helped, _no choice really_ he mused as he placed each foot carefully, each step deliberate. The earth shifted beneath his boots and he waited for it to pass. Helping had allowed them to scout areas of the mountain they would not have been allowed in other wise, allowed them to search for the stone without really searching.   
  
Five years and it had still not been found, there had been no word, not even a whisper. Until they had heard the word hobbit. It had been enough for them to attack outright. Five years and the stone had been accross middle earth, with a hobbit. With the traitor.   
  
Still, it hadn't taken long for news to get back to him. Several members of the company had left the mountain, and in quite a hurry to. It had taken even less time to find out the cause of this sudden adventure.   
  
The hobbit was coming back.   
  



	5. Five

As Billa had predicted it had taken them another few months before they caught a glimpse of Rivendell. There had been no more bandits and the three of them had settled into a familiarity along the way. Her little badger had pretty much adopted the ranger, who had taken it in his stride. The travel had been much easier than last time, the weather had held off from too much rain and the merchants had indeed greeted her with wide smiles and sweets for her faunt.

Frerin was staring wide eyed from atop Jacob's shoulders as he walked next to the wagon. "Here we are little one, the city of Rivendell."

It's exactly as Billa remembered it, and her heart ached with the promises of seeing family again. It had been so long, and she'd missed them greatly. She urged the ponies on, but they stood, fixed, their ears spinning and Jacob handed Frerin back to her. "What's going on?" Jacob motioned for him to be quiet and the little lad nodded, eyes wide as he scanned the surrounding area.

Billa held him close, trying to get a sense of what it could be. There was a tension in the air so thick that it smothered her, she had felt it before, remembered it all to well. Something dark and fast moves in corner of her eye. There in the bushes. Golden eyes and low growl, "WARG!" She screamed as it leaped from the hill, the orc on it's back letting lose a battle cry, club raised high above it's head. Jacob smacked the back of the ponies, startling them to move as he let lose an arrow.

It found its mark in the orcs head, but there were more coming, "Get going! Billa, we need to get to Rivendell!" She grabbed the harness as the ponies took off, Jacob jumping onto the back of the wagon. "Hold on little badger, things are going to get bumpy." She gritted her teeth and Frerin clung onto her.

The orcs came fast and furious, trying to push them off the small path and into the caverns below. Billa pulled hard on the reins, just long enough for them to reach the clearing in front, just to get away from the abyss below. "I can't get that one!" Jacob shouted as she felt something land on the back of the wagon. A long claw tore through the material, catching Billa's shoulder, she hissed and jerked away. "Mamma!!"

Jacob stumbled through the wagon, his sword thrust upwards, dragging through the canvas and into the soft underbelly of the warg. The wagon bounced as the the dead weight fell off and Jacob wasted no time in grabbing them both under his arms. Billa, for once did not moan about being man handled.

"We need to jump. NOW!"

"What?!"

There was no chance to argue and before she knew it they were flying through the air, and Billa closed her eyes as the ground rushed up to meet them. Jacob twisted so that he took the full brunt of the landing, protecting them both as the ponies thundered past them. They landed on grass and she got to her feet, putting herself in front of her child. Jacob to her left and not for the first time on this journey she was so glad he was there.

A hunting horn sounded in the distance and she could feel the rumble of hooves under her feet, it only took a moments glance in the wrong direction for the orc to strike. The arrow caught her deep and the world titled as fell back, every molecule of oxygen knocked from her lungs. It seemed to be a life time before her surroundings came back into focus, before the burning in her lungs eased and she heard someone shouting to her. _Get up, get up, get up!!_ She forced her eyes open, forced herself to get to her feet even as she felt the warmth of her blood staining her clothes.

Billa was not prepared for what she saw. Someone was standing in front of her, with a hat that she could draw in her sleep, the twisted braids either side. "Bofur?" She gasped, he turned, swinging his hammer, crushing the Orcs head that had been sneaking up on his left.

"Aye lassie, didn't think we'd let you have all the orc killing fun?"

She shook her head, "we?" Her vision was starting to blur, the wound starting to throb as Bofur came to her side, she could make out conern in his brown eyes, but they twinkled all the same. As they had always done. "Dwalin and Kili are bashing some wargs in, they may be enjoying it a little too much."

Her dwarves were here, by the green lady, they were really here. Oh she could have cried, she gripped Bofur's shoulder and he steadied her. "Have you seen a little faunt? He was with a ranger?"

"Balin scooped him up and took him back to the elves, he's safe, but we need to get you back as well." Frerin was safe, and her dwarves were here, she smiled at Bofur, before everything went black.

                                                                                             x

 

Billa pushed her head into the warm pillows, the sunlight on her face. She felt someone crawling a long side her and she sighed. Her faunt was a true hobbit when it came to breakfast.

She opened her eyes slowly, and shuddered a gasp when she looked at her son's face. Eyes red rimmed and swollen from crying, and it suddenly everything came crashing back down on her.

Wargs, orcs and dwarves (oh my.)

"Badger," it was all Frerin needed to hear before he dove under the blankets, careful of the wound at her side she drew him close. Breathing him in, her baby was safe, her baby was alive. "I was so s-scared mamma. Grandada Elrond told me he'd fix you, but you, you wouldn't wake up." He looked up at her, his mouth a thin, wobbly line. "Why wouldn't you wake up?"

"I'm sorry little faunt, how long was I hurt for?"

He scrunched his face in thought, "Two days, Grandada said you was hurt but sleepin, and you were snoring so he was tellin the truth."

"Oh dear," Billa muttered, thankfully saved further embarrassment from the door knocking. Lord Elrond entered, carrying a silver tray of tea, broth and biscuits. "Iell, it is so good to see you awake." She smiled, moving slowly, sitting up. The arrow had only skimmed her, and while it was deep it, and it hurt, it wasn't life threatening.

"I'm sorry to turn up unannounced." He waved her off, setting down the tray before her and taking one of the seats next to the bed.

"Nonsense, you are family, and welcome in these halls." A smile crept up his face, as he smoothed the green silk of his robes. "Although I must say your arrivals are never dull."

"Well you know me, never the one for a quiet life," she quipped, handing the faunt a biscuit.

"Indeed, which is why I was only mildly surprised to see four dwarves, one of which a crown prince of Erebor on my doorstep last week, demanding to see you. Now you return, in tow with a ranger no doubt."  
  


"Jacob is okay?" Billa asked brightly.  
  
"It was quite the joyous reunion I'm told. They are all eager to see you, although one of your dwarves did a fair bit of threatening on your behalf. Regarding the honour of a lady Baggins." Elrond raised a thin eyebrow in amusement and Billa couldn't help the roll of her eyes.

"Oh, for the....that would most likely have been Dwalin. I had no idea they would come, I really didn't." _I'm so glad they did_ , she thought as Elrond nodded.

"We are more than happy to have them here, after all, they are here for you. How can I deny them a chance to protect my family? This must mean you are heading back to Erebor." It was not a question, and she knew the elf would not press if she didn't want to tell, but he was a part of her family, and she could not lie to him.

"We are, Frerin needs to see his homeland, he needs things that he can not get back in the shire." Frerin had crawled to sit next to Billa and to be closer to the elf, watching both the adults, and hoping he could grab another biscuit. "Jacob taught me how to use the bow grandada!"  
  
"Did he now?" The high elf asked as he took a biscuit from the young faunt's hands and popping it into his mouth.  
  
"Grandada, that was mine!" Frerin frowned as Billa chuckled.  
  
"You should have been quicker," Billa said, "You know your grandada has a sweet tooth."  
  
"I will neither confirm or deny these allegations," Elrond said to a grumpy little boy. 

A knock at the door and the sound of Dwalin again threatening somebody indicated she had more guests.

Elrond shook his head fondly, moving the tray to a table, he lent next to her closely long brown hair brushing over Frerin who giggled as he played with it briefly. "You carry the Arkenstone with you, don't worry, we have hidden it and will return it to you when you carry on your journey. Be careful my Iell, to us it is just a stone, to the dwarves it is something both sacred and cursed."

He placed a hand on her shoulder, his touch warm and soothing. Standing, he opened the door and three dwarves tumbled in on top of each other, Balin walking in behind them. "It seems there is someone here to see you both." Elrond smirked and Dwalin grunted, elbowing Kili to get him off of him before marching over to the bed, throwing himself into the chair.

Frerin watched in wonder as they came over. After returning to the city his aunts and uncles had taken him from Balin, giving him reassurance and much needed hugs, before allowing him to see his mother. The lad had known about the dwarves presence, the elves, for all their finery were terrible gossips. 

"Hello Dwalin, Balin, Kili and Bofur," her voice cracked and before she knew it tears spilled from her eyes. She wanted to blame exhaustion, the wound in her side, which had started to sting, but she knew it was from relief. They had come, they hadn't abandoned her. "Lass what are you crying for?" Balin asked, white eyebrows raised as Kili sat on the bed next to her, completely ignoring the chairs by the side.

To the surprise of the others he wrapped his arms around her gently, "We missed you so much miss Boggins." Her laugh was watery as she fell into him, the bed shuffling and suddenly she was in a dwarf sandwich, Bofur clambering up on the other side.

Dwarves were never ones for propriety, not when family was concerned. "Oh my silly, silly dwarves, I missed you so much."

"Hey! You're squishin me!" They pulled apart to see Frerin looking at them, frowning as he wormed his way out of the hug, getting tangled in the blankets. Dwalin leaned over, and grabbing the back of the lads shirt hauled him off the bed.

"Billa, there is a babe in your bed." He grunted as Frerin dangled there, looking up at the dwarf.

"You're really big." He stated as Dwalin put him on a chair next to him. Kili still seemed to be in a state of shock, looking from Billa to the young lad. Billa groaned, but knew this would have to be done, knew that this is the reason she had traveled so far. She would have preferred not to have been in bed, in her small clothes but there was no changing things now.

"Darling, these are the dwarves I told you about in my stories; this is Balin, his brother Dwalin, Kili and Bofur." The dwarves all said hello, shaking the young faunts hand, Kili brimming with excitement, Billa had know that children were precious to dwarves, but her friends were acting as though they were dealing with the most fragile thing in all of middle earth.

Balin looked at her as his own brother was explaining the axes strapped to his back and she knew what he was thinking. Taking a deep breathe she grabbed her son's attention, "Darling, are you going to introduce yourself?"

"My name is Frerin Thorin Baggins," He puffed out his chest, not noticing the dropped jaws of those around him. His fascination with the dwarves was apparent but he had been away from Rivendell and the elves for too for them not to be top priority, "Mama, can I go outside? Jacob said he'd show me how to use a bow again, and I want to show Uncle Elladan and Elrohir how good I got. Can I?" He looked at Dwalin sadly, "I like your axes mister Dwalin but I like the bow at the moment."

Dwalin was too shocked to do anything other than nod. "Be careful badger, listen to what your uncles tell you okay?" She waited for Frerin to run out the room before turning to her gob smacked friends. "You are all going to catch flies you know."

"Billa, is that child yours?" Kili asked from his position next to her, an arm still round her shoulder.

"Yes Kili, that tends to be why he calls me mama."

"His name lass," Bofur croaked out and Billa hung her head, taking a deep breathe, before uttering the words she had been dreading for months.

"T-Thorin told me once of a brother and I thought it would be nice to have the name carried on," She fumbled with the edge of her quilt, "His middle name he gets from his father." She didn't dare look up, couldn't bring herself to look in her dwarves eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have come but Frerin is a dwarf and he needed to see, he needed to know...." She trailed off and was again enveloped into a hug.

Kili's long brown hair tickled her nose, smelling of the woods and adventure, but now she felt the dampness of tears on her head. She managed to turn to Bofur, who looked at her as though he had never truly seen her. "Is he crying?" She asked, but Bofur could only nod.

Kili pulled back, smiling, "You named your child after my uncles, you are bringing him back to my family, to our family. The only ones who should be sorry are us. We didn't come for you, we didn't chase you down and bring you back to where you belong."

"Oh Kili,"

Dwalin shifted on his chair, leaning forward on his large arms. "We thought miss that you had left us without saying goodbye, and we were hurt, if we'd known..."

"Dwalin!" Bofur scolded but Billa patted his arm.

"No, let master Dwalin speak." The others fell silent, but Billa was aware of arms around her shoulders, but she needed to know what Dwalin was getting at.

"Thank you Billa, there was no note, no word for five years, and now suddenly," he gestured with his hands to her and it was Balin who said, "You look a little pale my dear, are you okay?"

Billa was horrified, blinking wildly before the anger gripped her by the shoulders and threatened to explode. "You...you think I left you without wanting to saying goodbye?!" They all nodded, no one daring to speak. They had seen what happens when you interrupt and angry Hobbit. It never ended well. "I-I thought you hated me! That you blamed me for Thorin's death. I was banished, I didn't know what to do, when that dwarf told me that you wanted me to go..." The memory slams into her, the feelings as raw as they were five years ago and it takes all her remaining strength to drag the words from her mouth. "It broke my heart."

"Who was he?" Kili's voice was cold, his usual carefree smile was replaced by a venom that made Billa draw back, "I'll have him killed for his treason."

"You didn't want me to go?" She whispered, surprised when all four of them shouted in unison.

"NO!" Even Balin had reacted, and the old dwarf struggled to compose himself before throwing her a small smile, eyes twinkling. "What we mean to say is; Erebor is your home just as much as it is ours. The king would have seen to reason in time."

"Was Fili that mad?"

Kili blinked, "Fili?" At the glares the others shot him the prince's brain seemed to catch up with what was going on, "Oh yes, Fili my brother. Fili the king." Billa knew something was being hidden from her, but she found it hard to keep up. Let them keep their secrets for now, she mused, a Hobbit could wait quite patiently. A mother could wait even longer. "Billa, the banishment no longer stands, it was recinded five years ago."

"You mean, I can come back?" She asked hopefully, smiling at all of them.

"Of course you can," Dwalin was frowning at her, "I'm glad for it, you seem to have forgotten everything we taught ya! Getting hit by arrows."

"Aye, not your smartest move you know," Bofur hummed as they began to talk in earnest, planning her and Frerin's training. Billa just lay against Bofur, listening to them talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy! :D
> 
> Hope you enjoy, I love writing Frerin, I see him having the whole company wrapped around his little finger and not quite realizing it. Or them realizing it.


	6. Six

"Frerin stop it this instance...let your cousin up right now!" Billa scolded from her seat in the garden, a blanket placed securely over her legs. It had been wrapped around her by the elves and she's not sure she can get out of it even if she tried, so all she could do was scowl from a distance. Her little badger was sitting on the prince's back, the dwarf sprawled out his stomach.

"He could get up if he wanted to! Couldn't you Kili?" Frerin poked his cousin in the back of the head, frowning when there was no response. "Kili?"  
  
Billa winced at the sound of high pitched shrieks as Kili sprung up, catching Frerin and spinning him around in circles. "Help! Mama!"  
  
"We'll help you Frerin! Attack!" The two auburn haired girls stormed out from behind the willow trees, wooden swords held high, golden robes billowing out. The elves nearby continued to play their harps never once missing a note, but Billa could see their shoulders shaking with mirth, their instructor trying to desperately to get the attention back to the lesson.  
  
"I want to say they'll sleep well tonight, but they probably wont." Jacob laughed as his sat next to Billa. He was no longer wearing the tattered clothes he had been on the road, but was wearing a simple green tunic and sturdy brown trousers. She smiled, watching the chaos enfold as Dwalin was dragged from his nap under the trees, only to hoist the young girls up onto his shoulders and go chasing after Kili and Frerin.  
  
"They'll sleep for an hour and then be running around like mad things before we know it. Honestly, just watching them is exhausting."   
  
They sat in silence for a while, lost in the beauty of Rivendell. The sounds of the city were music to Billa's ears. The sun dipped below the mountains, casting the buildings and trees in a warm glow. It felt good to sit outside, in some clean clothes, lemon tea by her side. It had taken a few days for her to assure Arwen and her dwarves that she was more than capable of sitting out in the gardens. The green lady forbid she should try to walk anywhere. By herself. In a city she knew like the back of her hand.   
  
Billa could almost pretend that this is where her journey ended, that they could be happy here, but Frerin wouldn't have allowed it. Not now he was getting to know the dwarves.   
  
Frerin had looked upon Kili in awe as Billa had taken them aside explaining to the little one that the dwarf was kin. True, the faunt had many cousins back home. Billa was even starting to lose track of them a little bit, but Kili was the first member of his dwarven family he had met. Very soon a diabolical duo was on her hands, and Billa hadn't found herself apologizing to this many people in quite a long time.  
  
Kili had been the mastermind behind the disappearance of Elrond's afternoon biscuits going missing once his young cousin had explained his predicament. Billa had found them giggling under the stairways, a stack of sugary snacks between them. She was more than certain the high elf was plotting his revenge, and it would be spectacular.  
  
"Anabelle! Rose!" It was Jacob who called out sternly and both girls snapped to attention, hands hidden quickly behind their backs.  The ranger just raised an eyebrow, "I know what you're doing. Put them back."  
  
"But uncle," a lesser man would have melted under the pleading green eyes but Jacob only hardened his stare. "Worms do not belong in a person's hair. It's an awful trick, and one I'm sure master Kili wouldn't like."  
  
Kili grinned as he broke away from Dwalin's bear hug, Frerin standing on the warrior's shoulders looking on in interest. "That's an old trick little one, and your uncle is right."  
  
Billa knew what was coming, and couldn't bare to see the smug look struck from Jacob's face. "If you put the worms down me and Dwalin will teach you some dwarven pranks. Perfect to use on elves."   
  
The worms were soon discarded and the band of troublemakers sat in a circle in the soft grass, a safe distance away so their plotting could go on undisturbed. Frerin had made himself quite at home in Kili's arms, the girls content to sit on Dwalin's knees.   
  
There, that was the look. "Oh dear," Jacob titled his head, looking very much like a puppy that had lost it's bone. Billa merely lifted her tea cup. "Billa, what are dwarven pranks?"  
  
Billa thought back to her first journey to Erebor, and it must have shown on her face for Jacob looked increasingly horrified. "Billa."  
  
"I wouldn't worry about it too much, or perhaps I should say _try_ not to worry about it too much. Dwalin will put an end to some of Kili's more stupid ideas." Billa hoped that was the case, as she knew the warrior could be just as silly.   
  
"She'd always just hit him over the head with his own axe again." Bofur came up behind them, followed by Balin, both of them puffing on pipe weed.  
  
"You hit him with his own axe?" Jacob was staring at the weapons that never left the dwarves back. "They're huge."  
  
Balin snickered as he sat on the bench next to them, Billa pouring them both a cup of tea. "It was quite the feat, we were all a little shocked, she seemed like such a gentle hobbit lass."  
  
"Aye, that she did, you almost had to feel a little sorry for the dragon," Bofur hummed as Billa felt the heat rise in her cheeks.   
  
Jacob blinked, "Dragon?"   
  
"Did she not tell you lad?" Balin asked, "Miss Baggins here was the one who helped free Erebor, she helped destroy Smaug."  
  
"It's not something I go around bragging about. Really, that would be quite improper." Billa sincerely wished she could crawl into the ground, "Honestly you'd have thought the novelty of defeating a dragon would have died off after five years. Besides, it's not as if I hit him with the sharp end of the axe Balin."  
  
"KILI! When I get my hands on you I swear to Mahal!" Bofur threw his cup at Balin, who plucked it out the air, merely placing it on the table. Not even a drop of tea was spilled as the elder dwarf lifted his feet, allowing Bofur to race after the dark haired prince. "I didn't do anything! Bofur I swear- ack!"  
  
Bofur had managed to latch himself around Kili's ankles, bringing them both crashing down. The children piling on afterwards and Billa had a good idea that Dwalin was the creator of whatever plan had Bofur up in arms. Well, that's if she could go by the grin on his face. Or the wink he threw her. Honestly, dwarves were as subtle as a punch to the face sometimes.   
  
"It seems I have greatly underestimated you miss Baggins," Jacob said and Billa waved him off.  
  
"Nonsense, now what do you say we go and get something to eat. I'm sure the little ones have worked up quite the appetite." Billa was getting cold now that the sun had disappeared behind the hills entirely, that's what she told herself was the reason behind her shivers. Thinking about Smaug just brought back memories of Thorin, and there were enough of those as it were. Especially as Erebor seemed closer than ever.   
  
  
                                                                                                          x  
  
  
Her dwarves were waiting rather impatiently on their ponies as Billa said goodbye to those in Rivendell. It had taken four weeks  for her to be travel worthy, and even now the wound still ached. Yet she was alive, refreshed and ready to travel. Arwen embraced her tightly, "Adad and my brothers were sorry they could not see you off, but there is an urgent matter they had to attend to." The elf pulled back, standing next to Jacob, Arlée and the two girls, "He did however, give me a message to pass on."  
  
Billa groaned, almost rolling her eyes "I'm not going to enjoy this message, am I?"

  
Arwen laughed, her silky voice carried on the wind, "Oh sister, I will miss you. Adad has said that you shall not leave it so long for your next visit, and to send a raven once you have reached the lonely mountain. Or we will come to get you."   
  
"Consider it done," Billa grinned, turning to Jacob, she had spent a lot of her recovery with him and his kin, their chambers open to Billa and Frerin whenever they had needed it. With her little badger running wild through the elvish city she had valued the peace an afternoon with adults could bring. Not that it had lasted long, Elrond's revenge had indeed been a sight to behold and while non would talk about  the specifics she had spent an evening scrubbing Frerin -and even helping Kili- who had been covered top to toe in green dye. Oddly, neither of them had asked Jacob's sister for any sweets after that.

"Thank you for all that you've done for me and Frerin, I can never repay your kindness."

  
Jacob knelt down and embraced her tightly, "It was a joy to travel with you both. Tell him to practice his bow, I want to see him the targets when I next see him." His eyes twinkled, " The girls are also eager to see you again, I think Anabelle may have a crush on master Kili."

  
"Uncle!!" The young girl turned the colour of a beetroot and Billa gave them both hugs.

"I think you're uncle may be forgetting the dwarven pranks."

"Why did you have to remind them?"

"What makes you think we forgot?" Anabelle crossed her arms, as the company laughed.

  
Billa picked up her backpack with a lighter heart, the Arkenstone once again safely sewn into her jacket. "I would wish you all luck, but with Kili and Frerin I think Erebor needs it more. Seriously those boys are going to be unstoppable."  
  
A few tears and more reluctant goodbyes later they were on the road. Frerin was perched in front of Kili on his saddle, chatting away as the young prince tried to answer the hundreds of questions. The other dwarves pitched in when Kili couldn't answer. It hadn't taken long for the others to fall under Frerin's spell. Or even for the lad to fall under theirs, he regarded each dwarf with a quiet respect, hanging on to every word that was said to him.  
  
The rest of their journey passed without incident. Although Billa promised to never ride in another wagon again. Six months was enough, thank you very much, and she had quite frankly had it. Frerin seemed to agree with her, spending most of his time riding with the others. Riding atop Dwalin's shoulders and pulling the leaves from overhanging trees had been a favourite past time.   
  
Even Mirkwood was peaceful, well if you could count only hearing the giant spiders rather than getting attacked by them peaceful. Balin seemed to recognize her surprise, explaining that in the five years she had been gone drastic measures had been taken to ensure Erebor's future. They were still recovering some parts of the mountain, but the first priority had been food and a treaty with the elves had been a necessary evil.   
  
This led to Dwalin letting a string of insults out that made even Kili blush. Billa was thankful that Frerin slept in the back of the wagon or she would have smacked Dwalin over the head. Yet Thranduil let them pass, although Billa was more than certain they were being watched, the feeling of unease settling over her shoulders and she only breathed easily once they reach Dale.  
  
                                                                                          x  
  
"Look little badger, here we are," Billa smiled as they made their way to the gates of the lonely mountain. It was a far cry from how she remembered it, it was...beautiful.   
  
  
"Oh Balin," she gushed as they passed under the main gates, dwarves smiling at the wagons as they passed. Dwarves that were living in the mountain, dwarves that had a home. Even Dale was bustling with life, the men and women hard at work but there had been songs in the air as they toiled the soil and tended to the live stock.  
  
Billa honestly thought she could burst, after all this time. _I'm seeing it how Thorin would have_ , the thought came from nowhere, and although it made her heart clench this time she allowed it as a comfort.   
  
"See those gates Ree?" Using the nickname Kili had dubbed the faunt with, Frerin could only nod, trying to take everything in at once. Dark curls tumbled in front of his eye and Kili brushed them away, "They were made by great gradada's great fathers, for his wife, to show her how strong his love for her was. To show that his strength could protect all she held dear."   
  
"She got a whole gate?" Frerin asked his voice hushed, and Kili nodded.

  
"And see those up there?" Kili pointed to front of the mountain, to the battlements, "That's where our archers go to see if they can clear the mountain gates. I'll take you up there when you're older and we'll see how far your arrows fly."  
  
"Mamma did you hear? I bet I can shoot the most."  
  
"Shoot the furthest," She corrected fondly, she'd have to speak to Balin about whether going to the library was a possibility, her fauntling would still require his education. "If you put your mind to it then I bet you can."  
  
A horn sounded when they reached the entrance to the mountain and Bofur helped her from the wagon, giving orders to a near by dwarf who nodded and led the ponies away. "They'll move your stuff to your room, but for now we get to meet, ah there they are."  
  
Kili waved up ahead and Billa saw the outline of a blonde blur before she was picked up into a bone crunching hug. "Billa! Kili! You've returned!" All of Billa's worries melted away as Fili held on tight, the familiar scent of metal washing over her.

"Hello Fili," She whispered fiercely, remembering the last time she had seen him. Afraid that he to would be taken from her, yet here he was, alive and whole.  
  
"Ah Billa, so good to see you," Billa looked up from Fili's shoulder to see Dis smiling at her. Although Billa had met her only briefly  she had liked Thorin's sister instantly. "Lady Dis, I would give you a proper greeting, but I'm being crushed."   
  
Dis laughed, it wasn't as deep as Thorin's but it was of a similar tone and Billa wiped away the sting in her eyes as Fili put her back down. "Really Fili, is that anyway for a king to greet someone, I should have done it properly." Billa scolded as Fili shifted where he stood. It seemed, that everyone was avoiding her eyes. Even Dis seemed to have become very interested in a patch of dirt.  
  
Billa looked at them, "What am I missing? Please, If I've done something wrong?"  
  
"No, it's not that," Fili panicked, hands held up as if in surrender. "It's just, Billa...I'm not the king. I'm still just me, Fili."   
  
It took a moment for those words to sink in, Frerin watching from the safety of Kili's arms. "He's not the king mama? Who is?"   
  
"I am."  
  
That voice.  
  
Billa knew that voice.   
  
"No," She whispered, even as he emerged from the mountain, the rest of the company at his side. Dwarves stopped and tilted their heads in respect and acknowledgment for their king. Billa was suddenly very aware of how weak her knees felt. It almost as if her entire body had been replaced by trifle.

Thorin was alive.

Thorin was standing before her, very much not dead. _NOT DEAD!! He's not dead!_ She couldn't think, couldn't move. Nothing else mattered as she took in the sight before her.   
  
Then, for the second time in her life Billa Baggins fainted.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, I get to write more Thorin/Billa/Frerin, plus the company. 
> 
> Comments make me very happy, and even though I'll still write the story it's nice to know it's enjoyed :D
> 
> I've got a definite plot for the overall story, but if there is anything in between you would like to see, characters, situations etc just drop me a comment. I'm up for prompts.


	7. Seven

Thorin watched as Billa collapsed to the floor, Fili diving in to catch her, cradling her head in his arms. In seconds the company were surrounding her, "Let me through," Oin demanded, elbowing the others out the way as he knelt before the fallen hobbit.  
  
"Nori," Thorin snapped, "What happened?"   
  
"Nothing, she fainted," Nori replied coolly, russet eyebrow raised "Despite us being in the open, which I advised against, I've got more guards on us than jam on a scone."  
  
"You've been hanging around Dwalin too much," Dori commmented, before demanding a stretcher. Nori just scowled at his brother but Thorin noticed the blush that crept up Dwalin's head as the warrior stood next to the king.   
  
"Nori's right," Oin said, "Bit of a shock for the poor lass, I'd say she should be right as rain in a bit, but she's got a nasty arrow wound in her side. Looks a bit sore, so I'll give her a sleep tonic and some salve."  
  
"An arrow wound, show me?" Thorin pushed forward as Oin gently raised Billa's tunic, careful of her modesty and Thorin saw the wound was healing. Travel had made it raised and raw on soft skin and Thorin clenched his fists at his side. He looked at his eldest nephew, who still cradled Billa's head, "You do not leave her side, when she wakes you send someone to fetch me. Will you do this for me Fili?"  
  
"Of course uncle."  
  
The King under the mountain indulged in a moment to observe what he had once called his own. Round face, sun kissed skin lightly brushed with freckles were framed by loose gold curls that had grown long in her absence. He was aware of the dull pain in his chest, but now was not the time for such sentiments. A crowd had gathered, eyes watching like hawks at the way their king crouched next to the fallen woman.  
  
It was only when the stretcher came and Fili and Oin lifted Billa onto it did a voice sudddenly speak up. "No, mama!"  
Thorin looked around, that sounded like a child? "Thorin," Dis drew his attention to where she stood next to Kili and Bofur, "I do not think Billa was talking about the Arkenstone when she spoke of precious cargo."  
  
Thorin strode forward, to the small bundle in Kili's arms. Dark hair, almost as black as ink fell over large, round ears. Blue eyes looked up at him in fear, eyes that Thorin knew well, the same eyes that would return his gaze were he to stand infront of a mirror. The child's button nose, and soft round cheeks were Billa's, he was certain, he had spent sleepless nights on their quest studying her face in the dim light of the campfires.   
  
"Say somthing Uncle," Kili pleaded, holding onto the child tightly. Thorin coughed as the faunt whimpered at the noise, looking up a Kili as though his nephew would make everything better. Thorin couldn't force any words from his mouth and Kili shook his head before looking at his mother and walking away with Bofur. "Come on Ree, we'll get you some toast and juice while your mom has a rest. We'll have to be really sneaky though, cause Bombur wont want us ruining our dinner."  
  
Thorin watched them go, not caring about the whispers that were spreading through the crowd as Dwalin and Balin instructed them to go about their chores. Dwarves were a nosey race, and he knew it would not take long for the whole mountain to know of Billa's child.  
  
"Ow! Dis!" He jumped as his sister punched him in the head.   
  
"Don't you dare Dis me, I swear they should have crowned you Idiot under the mountain. You ignored a child, a sweet inocent child who has probably been through hell and back to get here."  
  
She stalked off and Thorin chased after her, sometimes he wondered who really ran this moutain, then reminded himself that it was, in fact his sister. "Dis, did you see that child? He looks like," he lowered his voice, "he looks like me."  
  
His sister must have heard the pain in his voice, because she stopped and faced him. "I know Thorin, I can see Fili and Kili in him as well. It hurts me to think she raised him without her family, that she hid him from you and you missed out on watching him grow."   
  
"If he's mine...I'm a father." The words sounded foreign on his tongue. The doubt in his mind was fleeting, had Billa taken a lover in the shire? He couldn't doubt the boys resemblance to himself but these were the quesions the council and his people would ask. The hobbit had thought him dead, it was natural she would continue with her life, it was a notion that left a bitter taste in his mouth and jeaousy coursed through his veins.  
  
"Try not to look too terrifed brother," Dis joked, she closed the small distance between them, and hugged him briefly before pulling away and looking at him with hard eyes. "You've been given a second chance, and by Mahal our family does not get those often. Thorin, do not mess this up. I will kill you if you do."  
  
"Yes Dis," He mumbled.  
  
"Good, now come on, we've got a lot to prepare for."

  
  
                                                                                               x

  
  
It was the third day since Billa had arrived and she had still not woken. Thorin paced his throne room practicing in his head what he was going to say. He had been ignoring the council much to their dismay, trying instead to talk to Bofur, Dwalin and Balin. The three dwarves had come to the agreement that anything they had learned on their travels back must come from the lady herself. Balin and Dwalin had said it with quite respect yet Bofur had bristled at his king's questions, vowing that his silence was not to be broken. Not even for his king.  
  
Thorin could have commanded them to tell him, but he knew that was not fair, on them or Billa. He had allowed Bofur's disrespect for they had bought her back, that was enough to earn his gratitude again. To protect her so fiercely was a comfort he would not share with the others, he knew she would be protected.  
  
From what he was still unsure, he had banished her in front of his people, and while he had rescinded it as soon as the madness passed him his people had not known the hobbit. Would they see her as a threat? Would those that had driven her away strike now? If not now when?  
  
Thorin had even tried to track down Kili, who seemed to have developed a protective streak that surprised everyone. He had become Ree's guardian and never allowed the babe to be left alone with anyone for the moment. Thorin had spied them together on more than one occasion, a familiarity between them that had the young one at ease, laughing and playing with his youngest nephew.   
  
Kili at least looked apologetic for keeping the youngster away from the king, but was stead fast that only when Billa woke and could talk to Thorin himself was the babe allowed to sit with the king. So for the time being the duo had made themselves at home in the library, Ori spoiling them with cakes and biscuits.  
  
It was late afternoon when there was a knock on the door and a small blonde haired dwarrow had popped her head around. "I'm sorry to bother you, your highness."  
  
"It's  quite alright Tula." The dwarrow sagged in relief as she entered the throne room. Perhaps Dwalin had been right when his friend had called him a tightly wound arse wipe. "Prince Fili told me to come and get you, it's quite urgent regarding mistress Baggins, she's awake."  
  
Thorin didn't waste anytime, running down the Royal corridor, almost colliding into Oin and Bofur as they left Billa's room.  
"Good morning my king," Bofur smiled, tipping his hat as they waited for him to catch his breathe.  
  
"How is she?" He asked straightening up.  
  
"Sore and tired," Oin grumbled, "A little underfed, both her and the little one but we'll soon fix that." He clapped a hand to Thorin's shoulder before they both made their way down the hall.  
  
When he entered everyone in the room turned to him; Fili, Kili and Dis were sitting around Billa's bed, her young faunt sitting next to her, covered in the blanket. Those honey eyes looked at him and in that second he knew that no matter how hard this would be he would do things right. Mahal how could he not have done this right the first time? Sitting there she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  
  
Billa looked up to see Thorin standing there, taking her breath away as the heavy doors closed behind him and it was like seeing a ghost. He really isn't dead. It is something that would take time to get used to. She smiled and Fili handed her a small glass of water, "Slowly," he instructed, "Or Oin will tie my braids together."  
  
"He'd really do that?" She croaked, not quite believing it.  
  
Dis sighed, "I found my beloved children together sobbing one day, their braids a tangled mess. When they had refused to tell me what they had done I went to Oin." She raised eyebrows at her sons and carried on, despite Kili's horrified  declaration of 'Amad no!'  
  
"They had taken his laxative remedies and attempted to smuggle them into the ale supply."  
  
"Mother," Fili hissed as Dis sighed,  
  
 "They are such drama queens," She poked Frerin in the ribs as he climbed up Fili, letting out giggles and squeals. Kili had taken the time as Billa had done in Rivendell and explained that Fili was his brother, and another cousin for the young lad. Frerin had become almost as instantly attached as he had to Kili. "Lets just hope you do not develop that habit, but I fear it may be too late."  
  
Dis shook her head, and Billa grinned as Frerin hung upside down, kicking Fili in the nose, head in the prince's lap.   
Thorin moved forward, unsure of what to do and Billa shook her head, placing the now empty glass on the table next to her. "Thank you," she said finally, "For the rooms, it's just, it's too much. I don't need all this space, I don't want to put you out."  
  
When Billa had woken and finally come to her senses she'd been overwhelmed and confused. Comforted by Fili,Kili, Dis and Bofur who assured her she was safe, that her child was safe and that Thorin was very much alive. She hadn't gone mad then. Alive, that word seemed to echo around her head, filling every nook and cranny until no other thoughts mattered. Frerin had not allowed his mother much time to brood as he drew her attention to the rooms they were in and Billa had been sure they had made some mistake, it was too much for a simple hobbit.  
  
Fili had sent one of the guards for Oin, and with the princes and Bofur's help she was given a tour. She had shuffled around in awe, the rooms were bigger than the whole of Bag-end. Fili and Dis had shown her the washroom and the kitchen, with the working oven and stocked pantry and cool box. The bedroom in which she had woken up had an open fire in the stone archway, her bed was big enough for five hobbits, draped in the softest quilts she had known.   
  
Her living quarters and receiving room had taken her breathe away, the deep browns of oak furniture were a warmth against the stone. The most astounding had been the balcony, and she had felt the sun tickling her face and the wind stirring her hair as she looked down across middle earth.   
  
Fili had explained that it would take time, and new soil but if she wanted she could grow a garden. Dis had confirmed what she had begun to hope, they intended for her to stay, for this to become a home. Billa only hoped that Thorin shared his families sentiments. Now he stood before her, almost as though he was a stranger in his own kingdom, each movement slow and deliberate.  
  
"Nonsense, this room is perfect for you both, we would have you given you a larger room had we one." Kili moved to the floor allowing Thorin to sit down. "Shall we go uncle?"  
  
Thorin shook his head at the same time as Billa, "No, this involves all of us."  
  
His fingers itched to reach out to her, to feel soft skin against his own calloused hands. Even after five years she still stirred the fire within him, and even now it scared him. "Billa, I..." How could he ask this? How could he phrase this delicately, but it was if she'd known what he was trying to say and she nodded.  
  
"You can ask Thorin, I wont be offended."   
  
"You wont shout at me?"   
  
Her lips quirked "Not yet."   
  
She watched his eyes, the conflict and hope within them. "Is your son mine?"  
  
Frerin climbed off Fili and onto Billa, sitting down and watching them all silently.  
  
"Yes."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting this chapter out the way. Feels for the next one!
> 
> Thank you very much for all the comments, they really do inspire me :D


	8. Eight

The word roared around his ears, he was a father. His child, by Mahal how could he had let her leave? He should have chased her down himself. "I'm a father."   
  
"Thorin I am so sorry," Billa's voice was hushed. It was hard, to say that, she was so angry at the king. She had kept the anger at bay, because there was no point raging against a ghost. Now Thorin was alive, and it brought back bitter feelings. That he had allowed gold and trinkets to become more important than his family, but she couldn't deny the pain in those sharp eyes.  
  
A small part of her felt justified, this is how she had felt five years ago when she had been cast out. But she was not that kind of woman, and in reality she knew they had all suffered.   
  
The words hung in the air, and not for the first time, nor would it be the last Thorin was ashamed. It had taken longer than he'd care to admit for him to forgive Billa. True, he had taken back her banishment as soon as he was coherent, but he had felt the sting of her depature.   
  
For him to realise that she had not betrayed him, well Dwalin had a hand in drumming that into his thick skull. Nearly dying had been the other kick he had needed, fighting, only to realise the thing he had wanted most had abandoned him. What use were stones and gems when your heart and bed were empty?  
  
Not that Thorin could blame her really. The words that had passed from his lips during his gold lust would have made his fore fathers blush. Everyone had sung her graces during the restoration, Thranduil especially taking joy in reminding Thorin every chance he got. Only his very vivid daydreams of burying his sword in the elf king's head had actually stopped him from carrying the act out. They were always so pleasently detailed dreams.  
  
Now it turns out that Billa wasn't even aware he lived, had been tricked into leaving. To have his child somewhere other than the place they belonged. It cut him deep to imagine what could have been, to have held his son straight after his birth. To hold him high and announce him as a prince of Erebor. He had been denied from hearing Frerin's first laugh, seeing his first wobbly footsteps as he had done with Kili.  
  
  
Thorin exhaled noisely, now was not the time to dwell on such things, "I should have known that you would not have left the others without saying goodbye."   
  
"I should never have listened to that dwarf, should have demanded to see someone I knew," Billa rolled her eyes, "Listen to us, both as stubborn as a mule."   
  
Fili growled next to him, "We should have gone after you Billa."   
  
Dis nodded, her eyes hard, "Something has gone very wrong."  
  
Billa chewed on her bottom lip, "You've done so much for me already. After hiding this from you. No, let me speak Thorin, I hid him. Even thinking you were dead I should have bought him back to the mountain. I can only ask and the Green Lady knows I don't deserve it, but I would like to stay for a little bit." Billa needed to hear it from Thorin, needed to hear it from his own lips. The others wanted her stay, but would he?   
  
Thorin wasn't quite sure why she was asking, but she carried on with her arguement anyway. "I want him to get to know you, and the others. The little badger wants to know about dwarves and weapons, and he wants his hair braided properly with beads, and do all the things your family does. You don't have to include me, but please don't shut him out."  
  
Thorin chortled as Frerin shuffled closer to the large dwarf, "Billa, I couldn't shut out either of you even had I wanted to. My family would do unspeakable things to me I fear, although at this point I'm pretty sure they're looking for any reason to do so."   
  
There were murmers of agreement, but none of them spoke openly.  
  
Thorin allowed a quick smile "I want to get to know my son. It would be an honour to show him is heritage..and I don't want to shut you out either. It may take awhile to find a rythm, but Erebor is your home. It's your home for as long as you want."  
  
There was a moment of silence, before the young lad clambered onto Thorin's lap. Billa watched in surprise; her son was usually quite happy to chatter away to anyone, but hugs were reserved for those he trusted. Those he saw as family.  
  
"Frerin," Billa spoke softly and Thorin tore his eys away from the faunt in his lap. He stared at Dis, who leaned over to Billa, taking her delicate hands in her own. They had not heard that name in a long time and the king's memory flashed to his younest brother, who had died much too soon. His nephews looked on with lop-sided smiles, already knowing the lads name.  
  
"You named him Frerin?" Dis asked and Billa nodded, hair falling around her shoulders, covering a still healing scratch. "His name is Frerin Thorin Baggins."  
  
"Oh Billa," Dis exclaimed, a tear falling down her cheek, "You are in the bad habbit of making me cry, which I will deny if asked."  
  
The two women held onto each other for a moment before letting go and Billa turned to her son. Who looked quite content in Thorin's lap, I've wanted nothing more than to see this she thought happily. Still not quite believing her eyes.  
  
"Frerin, this is your aunt Dis, you already know your cousins Kili and Fili," the princes waved and Billa saw that even their eyes were red-rimmed. _So much for dwarves being made of cold hard stone_. Taking a shaky breathe she managed a small smile, "This is your father little one. His name is Thorin."  
  
Nobody moved as Frerin stood up, bare feet resting on Thorin's strong thighs. The king placed his hands on the lads back to stop his from toppling. Lowering his head so they were eye to eye, Frerin watched the dwarf, little button nose scrunched in thought as chubby fingers buried into the soft fur of his beard.   
  
Frerin could feel the warmth radiating from the dwarf, he was like the furnace they had back in the shire. His mama had never denied him the knowledge that was most important to him. He remembered when his cousins had laughed at him because he didn't have a papa. He had run back to mama, tripping over rocks and logs in his haste. She had sat him down in the kitchen and told him, through his snotty nose and tears about the large dwarf with the long black hair and eyes just like his. Who had rumbled like a bear when he laughed.   
  
Frerin hadn't heard this dwarf laugh yet, but he knew it was his papa. Even without his mama telling him he knew it, like he knew he liked sticky buns, or that he'd wake up tomorrow, or that his mama made the best pancakes in the shire. That this dwarf shared one of his names,and he grinned at Thorin who watched him carefully.  
  
He wrapped his little arms around the dwarves neck and smiled, "Hello papa."   
  
                                                                                             

                                                                                                x

  
  
Thorin felt his heart stop and air leave his lungs in a great big whoosh. Nothing could have prepared him for those words. Papa, oh Billa, I owe you more than I can give you. He closed his eyes, arms wrapped around the child gently. "Hello mizimith."   
  
"Papa?" Frerin's voice was muffled in his hair.  
  
"Yes little one?"   
  
"I'm hungry." Frerin couldn't understand why everyone was suddenly laughing. For the past three days he has missed second breakfast. This was no laughing matter. Did dwarves even have second breakfasts? If they didn't then Frerin was going to have to show them.  
  
Dis stood, "Come then boys, lets go down to the kitchens and see Bombur, I'm sure he'd  be more than willing to feed us."  
  
Frerin jumped on to Fili from Thorin's lap, clambering up onto the prince's shoulders who shouted, "Last one there has to eat the salad!" Before running off down the hall, Kili stomping after them, his cackle echoing through the mountain.  
  
"I'll bring you back some broth Billa. Thorin, do not keep her for  too long. Oin said she still needs to rest, and I'm sure the others are eager to see her as well."  
  
Thorin waited for the door to close before he took Billa's hand in his own. Billa could feel the intensity of his stare. Not once in the five years had she ever imagined he was still alive. Would you have come back to him? The voice in her head asked, looking down at their hands she wanted to say yes. Billa could still feel the ache in her heart, how Thorin had been the one to fill it, she had trusted him.   
  
Then he had banished her, thrown her to the side after everything they had  been through. Billa had loved him, had almost gone mad with the grief of losing him and had he ever really cared.  
  
But oh Frerin, her little badger had his father, it had taken everything left within her not to burst of crying when he had hugged Thorin. She was quite fed up crying, and feeling sore, and eating broth, she wanted to feel useful again.  
  
  
"Billa," If she hadn't known Thorin so well she would never of heard the thickness of his voice. "Thank you."  
  
"Thorin.." she couldn't accept this gratitude, not when she had never known he lived. Was still not sure she would have had the courage to return if she'd known.  
  
"Please, just let me..." He hung his head, and Billa saw the silver that graced his dark hair. "You travelled all this way, without knowing what awaited you, for your- our child. I know the journey was dangerous, but still you came."  
  
"Of course I did." _But not for you, she wanted_   to say, but she couldn't. Not when he looked at her like that, as if she was all he could see.  
  
Thorin saw the unspoken words in her eyes, but she didn't pull back her hand. There were many things that still needed to be said. Arguements for another day, she still had the Arkenstone, but for now there was a strenous peace. Thorin watched as Billa drifted off to sleep, he wasn't sure how, but he would make this right. He couldn't give up.  
  



	9. Nine

Billa faced a predicament she had battled many times on her original journey to Erebor. She wasn't sure if she wanted to punch her dwarfs or stab them with something sharp, or blunt, or just stabbing motions in general. A week she'd lain in bed and right now she was sick of it. Although she had to admit to herself that she hadn't been lonely, the company had seen to that with the enthusiasm of children. Also creating the same amount of mess she mused thinking of all the cakes and pies they'd eaten, and the crumbs they'd left behind.  
  
They had come every night with food, on their own and with their families sitting around the bed and telling tales. Frerin always listened until his eyes were heavy and he fell asleep on whatever dwarf he sat on, curled into their beards, usually clutching one of the toys that had been carved for him. Toys that now littered the floor of their rooms, elaborate carvings of dragons and orcs. It had taken no time at all for him to be embraced by the company, Frerin in turn babbled on constantly about all his new uncles and what he got up to in the mountain. Like any true hobbit one of his favourite places were the kitchens where she was told he was turning out to be one of Bombur's best tasters.  
  
None of the dwarves, including those of royal blood had asked about the Arkenstone, which was safely hidden behind a stone block in the main sitting room. She had pushed that blasted thing from her mind now she wanted to see the mountain for herself.  She swung her legs over the edge of her bed and gave Oin and Balin the best stink eye she could manage. It could have curdled milk but it had no effect what so over on the dwarves in front of her.  
  
"I am having a bath."  
  
Oin opened his mouth and her bare feet touched the stone floor. "No buts, no ifs. I am having a bath. My father would be ashamed of me and my mother, well she would most likely be proud but that is neither here nor there." Billa waited a moment as a wave of dizziness struck, her legs feeling wobbly from lack of use.  
  
Oin and Balin were at her side, "Even breathes, I'll not have you throwing up." Oin scolded and she snorted.  
  
"I approve of your priorities Oin." She straightened up and moved towards the wash room. "It's okay, you don't need to hang around. I'm having a quick bath then I'll make my way down to the library."  
  
"Do you know where the library is?" Balin asked and Billa frowned,  
  
"Well..."  
  
"As I thought," Balin said smugly, making his way to the chairs in front of the fireplace. Now that winter was approaching them there was always a fire to chase away the cold. Billa enjoyed the way the light bounced around the room, reminding her of the sunsets in Rivendell. It made her think of home. "I will wait here, the bath has been drawn and lady Dis has placed some clothes in the washroom for you."  
  
"There are some salves on shelves for you as well," Oin said his twin beard braids twitching with amusement as she rolled her eyes. "We've just got you back, I'll not have you coming down with fever."  
  
Billa knew there was little point to argue, they had all gone through great lengths to assure her that she would be looked after. Apologising to them all had been the hardest, she needed them to know that she wanted to say goodbye. That she hadn't wanted to abandon them and her dwarves had accepted her words, with tankards of ale (not that she was allowed any just yet) being struck together and promises to stick by her.  
  
Closing the door to the washroom she peeled off  her small clothes, sinking into the warm water, practically feeling the grime and sweat soaking off her. She still couldn't get over the size of this room alone. Cut into the mountain stone itself the bath was deep enough at one end that she wouldn't even touch the bottom. Shelves of shampoos and soaps lay within arms reach, nestled in the elaborate metal shelf.  
  
She allowed her self to soak, humming with happiness. Billa was eager to explore Erebor, Frerin's excited babble had been making her head spin. Despite the fact the restoration was still being undertaken-the dragon Smaug had left areas almost beyond repair-the mountain was meant to be beautiful.  
  
After shampooing her hair and giving herself a good scrub down she stepped out of the bath, allowing the water to drain she wrapped herself up one of the luxurious towels. Breathing in the scent of fresh cotton before going to look at the clothes that were hung in the far corner.  
  
Trust Dis to have such exceptional taste; the waist coat was a deep blue, the same colour she had seen her son dressed in lately. The golden thread creating patterns of willow leaves and dandelions and she knew Dori's handiwork when she saw it. A light blue blouse, the material as soft as silk, but sturdy and after she applied the foul smelling salve and small bandage she slipped it on, feeling it cool against her skin. The trousers were a dark slate and fit like a glove, stopping just above her ankle.  
  
Dresses and skirts were nice, but when you were living under a mountain trousers were the way to go. Billa felt like herself for the first  time in a long time. Adjusting to everything had thrown her out of balance. She hadn't spent much time with Thorin since she had been gaining back her strength, the king flitting in and out like a hummingbird. Fili and Kili never far behind. This did not stop the company from singing Thorin's praises of all that had been done for the dwarves of the mountain, they and the people of Dale were flourishing. Never before had Erebor had such extensive trade routes, never before had a King under the mountain had the patience to explore such alternatives.  
  
Billa had laughed at them first, Thorin was patient? Yet in the brief time spent with the king she couldn't deny his calmer tone. The anger was still there, she could see it in the fists at his side when he thought no one was looking. Clenching until his knuckles turned white. Billa had heard him shouting at the guards but his true anger seemed to be turned inwards at himself and even now after everything that had happened Billa found herself worrying about the stubborn dwarf.  
   
Billa shook all thoughs of Thorin from her mind. Ignoring the way her stomach rolled at the thought of him. "Get a grip you stupid woman," she muttered grabbing a brush and standing in front of the mirror. Her eyes looked tired still, and her skin was pale, cheeks slightly sunken from illness and lack of food. She had actually been able to see her ribs as she put on her shirt! The arrow wound was no longer red and raised, but still itched and was proving to be more of an irritation.  
  
However she looked she was still alive, she was washed and clean and ready to face the mountain. Leaving the bathroom she found that Oin had been replaced by Bofur who smiled up from under his hat. "Have you ever taken that hat off?"  
  
"Once I think, it was a harrowing experience. Turned out Bombur had tried to clean it." Bofur shuddered at the memory.  
  
Balin stood and held an elbow out to her, "Erebor looks good on you my dear."  
  
"Thank you Balin, shall we depart? I'm eager to explore."  
  
Bofur held the door open, "Then lets go."

  
  
                                                                                                x

  
  
Erebor was everything she had expected and more. The first stop in the mountain was the main market place. She had walked through desperate to browse through the stalls, trinkets and food. The stall owners had greeted her with smiles, warm greetings and open curiosity.  
  
Balin had led her around, explaining that the market was one of the central places of the mountain. Drawing business for miles around, it was something that they and the men of Dale profited from and were proud of.  
   
Now that the farms were finally becoming sustainable, it had been hard work, but worth it. The mountain stone was smooth, polished and seemed to sparkle. Natural light was allowed in through small alcoves. Words, runes and illustrations speaking of joy and good fortune to travelers and trades were carved into stone, even on the large pillars and support beams.  
  
Yet only a small portion of the hall was being used, it was clean, but there were still high piles of rubble. Bofur leaned down to her, "We're still reconstructing the support beams for the south market. These halls are safe but we can't risk the other areas being used. They should be up and running in another year or so."  
  
Even if there was only market was operational there was more than enough to look at. Aside from food there were areas dedicated to smaller stalls that were more specific in the goods they sold; weapons of every kind graced the furthest sections. Where the fountain square market housed jewels so polished Billa could see her face in them. Fabrics hung from beams in every colour and Billa's mind began to swim with the possibilities of things she could create.  
  
They passed the throne room and the kitchens, "It's best we avoid my brother at the moment. He always gets a little focused shall we say when it comes to dinner time." Bofur said, steering them through the communal eating hall. Billa had learned that all of the dwarven families had their own kitchens, to which they stocked themselves. The kitchens provided the three main meals, anything else was left up to them.  
  
There was a sharp tone behind them, words growled out in Khudzul, "Hello Bifur," Billa smiled. The dwarf dipped his head in greeting, light catching the axe that was imbedded there. He starting talking rapidly and Bofur nodded, letting go of Billa's arm.  
  
"It seems we have a bit of a situation in one of the mines my dear. Balin, will you be able to get Billa to the library?"  
  
"Is anyone hurt?" Billa asked Bifur, who shook his head talking rapidly, his wild hair whipping around.

"He says nothing major, but it could have been much worse." Balin translated, "Come on miss Baggins. Bofur, Thorin will need to be told about this."  
Bofur was already running away, hand on his hat as he shouted behind him, "As soon as we get things sorted!"  
  
"Are the collapses common?" Billa asked, concerned as they carried on.  
  
"Not now, but when Thorin had first ordered the mines open it was quite bad. Smaug wasn't concerned with mining for new treasure, but his desire for destruction seemed to stalk many halls." Balin grumbled. "We lost many good dwarves in the first year."  
  
The library lightened their conversation as she saw her little badger sitting at one of the large tables, his feet dangling from the chairs. Dis had been able to dress the young faunt in the more traditional dwarven attire. Then they had tried shoes. That had not ended well.  
  
Making her way over she could not help in craning her heard to look around. There were books and scrolls everywhere, shelves upon shelves, dust was caught in the light of the torches and as it settled it filled her nose with it's musty scent. Her fingers itched to spend just ten minutes alone with them, but she had spent so little time with her son.  
  
"Hello Frerin," coming up behind and placing a kiss in his curls. They were starting to brush his shoulders, maybe a hair cut was in order. "Hello Ori," The dwarf smiled from behind his book. "What have you been up to?"  
  
"Uncle Ori's been teaching me about the ents, they used to live all around the mountain."  
  
"They held a treaty with the Kings for many years," Ori explained, pointing to an image in the book on the table,"We only dug into the mountain and left their forests alone, they dwindled in numbers when King Thror was on the throne and when Smaug came.."  
  
"They tried to fight?" Billa asked, wondering why walking trees would try to take on something that could destroy them so easily.  
  
"From what I can tell yes, they stuck to their treaties, but it ended badly. Redbark their leader moved his forces when the mountain was lost. As far as I know there are no more ents in Erebor." Ori turned a page to an illustration of an enormous oak, Billa could make out he face, the detailed penmanship capturing the beings status and sadness  in deep set eyes.  
  
"Smaug destroyed more than just the mountain when he descended upon us," Fili said, entering the library several of the surrounding dwarves turning to look at him. "Good to see you up and about Billa, we were getting worried, Kili was ready to come and get you himself."  
  
"Thank the green lady he didn't, last time he did that on our journey he threw a bucket of water over my head." Billa ignored the snort Ori hid behind his book. Instead picking up Frerin and resting him on her hip. She had missed being a mother to him, even if it had only been a week.  
  
"Ah, yes, he was sorry about that," Fili looked down at his younger cousin and sticking his tongue out.  
  
"Fili! Can we go practice now?" Frerin asked. Billa had been surprised when the lad had still wanted to train, he had never really stuck with something for so long.  
  
The eldest prince took the young lad from Billa, "We can, but first you must practice with Dwalin."

Frerin pulled on a golden braid, "Do I hafta?"  
  
"Yes mizimith, don't worry, you wont be alone, there will be other children there." Fili managed to untangle the little hand from his hair. "You coming Billa?"  
  
"Me?" Billa spluttered as Ori came up next to her, books tucked firmly under his arm.

"It's customary for parents to watch their children's training. Dori and Nori always watched over mine, not that it went well."  
  
Fili sniggered, "As I recall Ori you got your axe caught in your braids." The younger dwarf felt his cheeks heat as Billa patted his arm. "Not to worry Ori, happens to the best of us I imagine."  
  
"Papa will be there," Frerin said, before Ori could jump to his own defense. Billa felt her heart lurch at the mention of the king. "H-he will?"  
  
"He's there all the time Billa, we all are." The blonde dwarf said as they made their way to the training ground.

  
  
                                                                                            x  
  


  
The training ground was situated at one of the back entrances to the mountain, still within the city walls. The grass had been cut short, and there were several rings dotted around each one sporting different levels of skill. Around the grounds there were benches of different heights and as Fili took Frerin to Dwalin and a group of young dwarf children Ori pointed to stand nearest to them.  
  
"He's up there with Lady Dis and Kili." Billa shaded her eyes from the midday sun. Despite the chill in the air it felt good to be outside, the sun on her skin and she couldn't help the smile that graced her face.  
  
Thorin had sat on the benches, his mountain of paperwork piled in front of him, wondering if he could just burn it all and deny ever receiving it. He was just thinking of his possible excuses to Balin when Dis jabbed him in the knee with her finger.  
  
"Well, look whose up and about," Dis grinned from his right.  
  
"Billa! Up here!" Kili waved and Thorin was about to smack Kili again for shouting right next to his ear when he looked at his hobbit properly. One minute he was breathing, and the next nothing, it was if the air had been sucked from his lungs. Billa was smiling up at them, the sun catching her hair and he saw colours he didn't think were possible. Joy shone in her eyes, and he knew he was staring, it was possible his mouth was open slightly as well. He tried desperately to get his face back under control, to take deep, calming breathes.  
  
By the time Billa had reached them he felt that he had succeeded somewhat, ignoring his nephew and sister's smirks. "Hello Billa, it's so good to see you. Hello master Ori, always a pleasure"  
  
"Thank you Dis and thank you for the clothes, hello Kili." Billa's looked down at her hands, almost refusing to look him in the eyes. "Thorin."  
  
Fili leaped up the steps and guided her to a seat, between him and his brother and Ori sat in front of them, his back almost touching Billa's knees. Thorin tried not to scowl at how far she had sat from him. Yet as he had learned long ago, scowling was what he did best. "Good afternoon Billa, did you enjoy your tour?"  
  
"Yes, the market was beautiful, and the library. Well I could spend a life time in there, Ori has promised to show me a few of the-" A bell sounded and she was drowned out by the sound of weapons clashing. She saw Dwalin with the children, down on his knees, pointing to the weapons that each one of them held.  
  
"Frerin has a sword," Billa stammered, "why does he have a sword? I thought he was training with the bow?"  
  
Dis looked around from Thorin frowning, "You did not tell her?"  
  
Billa looked around at all of them, and all of them avoiding her. She poked Kili and Fili in the ribs, "Since when were you two so quiet." When they avoided her gaze she turned to the king, "Thorin?"  
  
The king under the mountain put down his paperwork, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It is necessary for dwarven children to sample each weapon before they chose upon one to master."  
  
"Certainly not ones so young? Those children all look so small," Billa observed the other children, only a small handful of them seemed to be older than her own Frerin.  
  
"We can no longer afford the luxury of our allowing our children to be undefended. Frerin is no different, as a prince of Erebor he must know how to defend himself and set an example to the other children." Thorin stated, as if there was nothing more to say on the matter.  
  
"P-prince?"  
  
"He is Thorin's child, that would make him a prince." Dis said, indicating the two Billa was sitting between. Prince, she had never put any thought passed the face he was Thorin's child. "Oh my, I never thought about it that much."  
  
"That's not like you Billa," Kili said and she elbowed him in the ribs.

Thorin opened his mouth when a sharp cry called out, "NO!"  
  
One hobbit, four members of the royal family and Ori looked on in shock as Frerin climbed on top of a dark haired lad. "Is your child biting small Derril?"  
  
"Oh my," Billa gasped, not sure what to do as Dwalin attempted to get her son to stop his attack. Frerin responded with another shout and a kick as he skidded out of Dwalin's grasp, running back into the mountain. Thorin stood up, paper work flying as they ran down to the bald warrior. Dis trying to comfort the boy that had bared the young badger's teeth. The other children muttered amongst themselves, some on the verge of tears, others curious and trying to get a better look at the bite marks.  
  
"Fili, Kili, find out what happened" Thorin demanded as he ran through the crowds of dwarves, before his son got lost in the mountain.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to focus on Billa and Frerin getting used to dwarf culture and habits as well as the conspiracy which will we brought up again in the next couple of chapters.
> 
> I though it would be quite hard for Frerin to adapt as well, plus it gives Thorin a chance to spend more time with him. Let me know what you think, if you have any ideas at all or things I could do better. :)
> 
> Reviews make me happy!


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes at the beginning this time! 
> 
> A big thank you to all those who reviewed. I love getting comments that make me think about the story and that actually point me to things I never would have thought of before.

  
Thorin had searched the entire mountain, or so it had seemed, and with each passing moment his panic rose. Frerin was lost in the Erebor, he could have fallen into one of the mine shafs, tumbled down the stairs and slipped over the railings, could have been picked up by one of those that wanted them gone. Mahal why would his mind think those things!  
  
The guards, the company and his kin were looking franctically, and Thorin could not go to Billa without the little one. He had sent her back to her rooms with Dis, she didn't know the mountain either, and he wouldn't have two lost hobbit's on his hands. "Thorin!" spinning round he saw Gloin running up behind him, read beard flowing, his son Gimli at his side.

"Have you found him?"  
  
"Yes sir!" Gimli puffed out his chest, "He's down by the southern mines."  
  
Gloin nodded to confirm what his son has said."Aye, Nori found him, he's keeping watch."  
  
"Take me to him." He didn't need to ask again as Gloin led him down some of the darker tunnels of Erebor, sending Gimli back to his mother. Thorin's face grew cloudy as they trudged deep into the mountain, while there were torches they were few and far between. There was no mining here, no railings, and the stairs were slick and steep. "By Mahal he could have been killed down here." Thorin muttered to himself as they came upon the spymaster, who was leaning quite casually next to a crevice in the wall.   
  
"Where is he?"  
  
Nori pointed to the crevice and Thorin knelt down, he couldn't see anything but he could make out a muffled crying. "The little sprog seems to have stumbled upon a hidden network of tunnels."  
  
Thorin raised an eyebrow, "These are not your tunnels are they Nori?"  
  
The tri-haired dwarf shook his head, "No, these aren't even dwarven tunnels. They seem stable enough and I would like to look into them more though, could be useful."

Thorin nodded as he made to crawl into the hole. "Go and tell the others that I've found him, especially Billa. I'll bring him back up." He didn't wait for their answer as he crawled forward. He was king, and here he was, crawling on his hands and knees in the dirt and dust. Still he had done worse he mused as his back protested.  
  
"Frerin," he called, only to hear the sound of a small body shuffling.  
  
"Go 'way."  
  
"I'm afraid I can't without you." The crevice widened and Thorin found he was able to sit next to the lad without stooping his back. It was dark in here, the lights from outside only just penetrating most of the gloom.   
  
"Am I in trouble?" His son looked up at him, even sitting down Frerin only came up to his elbow and once again he marveled at how small he was.   
  
"That remains to be seen, although I'm sure your mother would be interested to know why you bit another dwarf and kicked master Dwalin." Thorin leveled, realizing that this was indeed the first time he had been alone with his son, was able to talk to him. While Billa rested he had tried to spend time in their rooms, which were always full but he had felt out of place and unwelcome.  
  
"Oh no," Frerin moaned, fresh tears welling and Thorin placed a hand on his back. He was not prepared for when his son dove into his arms, great big sobs shaking his body, head connecting with his sternum, soft curls going up his nose. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't send me away!"  
  
"Send you away?" Thorin asked, trying desperately to remember what Dis had done during her own son's tears. True, he had helped raise the boys but snot and tears had always been Dis' area of expertise. When the young lad didn't answer, Thorin just held him waiting for the tears to subside.   
  
"Frerin, why would I send you away?" He asked again, terrified of the answer. Had he given the boy that impression? Could his own son really think that he could be sent away so easily? Could be dismissed so easily as though he meant nothing? "Mizimith, you are going to need to tell me sooner or later."   
  
"That's what the others said." Frerin hiccuped and Thorin resisted the urge to growl.

"Who little one?"  
  
"The other kids, they said I'm not a d-dwarf, an I had to give them my bow. That you wouldn't like me cause elves use them, and you'd make me go away for not doin as you said, " Frerin pulled back, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "I like my bow, I don't wanna sword."  
  
"You do realize that your cousin uses a bow correct? I'm not going to send Kili away, although it would stop him from smelling out the royal chambers," It earned him a small chuckle, but the frown remained on the lad's face. "Frerin, I'm not going to send Kili away for using a bow, I'm not going to send you away either for any reason."  
  
  
"You love Kili more," Frerin whispered in the dark, speaking with a conviction only children seem to possess. "You've known him more than me."   
  
Thorin tightened his grip carefully, oh so careful with his child. "You think I could love Kili and Fili more?"  
  
Frerin bit his lip, small hands once again finding the soft fur of his beard. "I'm sorry." It reminded him greatly of Fili and Kili when they had been that age. Quick to apologize but not sure why.  
  
"No little one, it's I who should be sorry. I love you all the same, I do not care which weapon you chose to use and I will never send you away from here. True, I've only know you a little time, but I know I don't want you to leave."

Thorin was not used to offering such reassurances, but how could he deny a babe love from his father. He remembered his own father briefly, before the desolation. Thrain had been many things in the end, but Thorin had never doubted his father had loved them all.  
  
"You can't bite people though."   
  
"It's hard bein a dwarf," Frerin rested his head on Thorin's shoulder, eyes closed and in the dim light the king took a moment to watch his son. Not quite realizing how hard this must be for one so young, to be uprooted from everything you know, to travel across the land and placed in a strange city. To experience a culture he couldn't prepare for, and possibly be expected to understand as he was a part of them. Even the family he had were strangers, his father too busy avoiding his mother to spend time with him.  
  
Again Thorin could feel himself failing, but this time he had caught himself before it had gone to far. "It is hard mizimith, but I don't want you to be just a dwarf. I just want you to be you." He moved his fingers over ribs, moving swiftly as Frerin's eyes sprung open.  
  
"That tickles!" He tried to get away but Thorin held him there, heart singing to the sound of his son's laughter. After a couple of minutes he stopped, Frerin sprawled out over him. Catching his breathe he stood on Thorin's lap, a frown still on his face. "What is it?" The king asked.  
  
Frerin exhaled deeply, chewing his bottom lip before he spoke, "They said you aren't my papa." Thorin felt the words like a knife, and he knew these are not just the words of babes. Over heard most likely from gossipy dwarves, it made Frerin's crowning even more important. It would show his people that he knew this child was his, and as he held him how could he deny it? Billa had not lied to him, and he felt the pull of family. The overwhelming desire to protect this small treasure. To lay down his life if needed.  
  
"They are wrong little one." Thorin said grabbing him into a hug, loving the way small arms wrapped around him. "Come on now, I'm sure everyone is worried sick about you, especially your mother."  
  
Making their way out, with Frerin in front he picked up the babe when he was sure he was no longer in any danger of smacking his head on the mountain. It happened far to often. "I'm in so much trouble," Frerin yawned, his emotional outburst seemed to be a bit draining as he absorbed his father's warmth.  
  
Thorin could do nothing to assure Frerin when it came to Billa's wrath. He had felt it many times on their travels, he only hoped she wouldn't be too mad.

 

  
                                                                                               x

 

  
  
Frerin didn't speak as they made their way back to the royal chambers, only clinging to Thorin's shirt with one hand,the other wrapped tightly around a braid. At least he was not sucking on it, as Fili had been prone to when he was younger and upset. The king opened the door only to be bathed in the rich smells of garlic and tomato trying to ignore they way his stomach rumbled as his nephews and Oin turned to face them. He wondered briefly when the last time he had been alone with Billa.  
  
"Oh there you are," Billa swooped in, pulling Frerin to her. The young lad didn't even make a sound as he buried into his mother. He almost ended up taking Thorin's braid had the dwarf not been quicker in untangling small fingers. Billa just hummed as she moved to the chairs, sitting in the armchair opposite Oin.   
  
"I can't see anything on him," Billa said as Oin tried to lift Frerin's head up.  
  
"I think you're right, still can't hurt too have a look. Can you lift your head laddie?" Frerin just shook, "Not even for one of Bombur's jam tarts? He made them just for you."  
  
Thorin turned to his nephews who had moved to the doors, alert and on guard. "Have the others been told that he's been found?" Thorin asked and they nodded. He quickly briefed them on what Frerin had shared, and the tunnels that had been stumbled upon.  
  
  
"When Derril stopped crying his story agreed with yours," Kili said. "I don't think the kids really meant it. They seemed quite upset about the whole thing, I don't think they understood how harsh they were being."  
  
"They told him I would send him away, that I am not his father," Thorin growled, his ears echoing with his son's pain.  
  
"You are kind of scary to young children," Fili said, not withering under his uncle's stare, merely pointing at his uncle's nose. "Yup, that's one of the reasons." Although Thorin noticed that both boys eyes grew a little darker at having their family questioned and Fili looked over to the chairs. "I will have a word with them, and with Frerin." Thorin knew what his eldest was thinking, it happened not long after their father had died. Many did not believe him to be in the line of Durin with his lighter hair, although put quickly in their place it had left it's mark.  
  
"Young children, afraid of my own dear brother?" Dis drawled as she entered the room. "Say it isn't so?"  
  
"How did you hear us out there amad?" Kili asked.  
  
Dis smiled at her son sweetly which made them all collectively shudder. Thorin wondered if snow had suddenly started falling. "I am a mother, and as such have acquired excellent hearing. I was speaking with Derril's and several of the young ones mothers."  
  
"They aren't too angry are they?" Billa asked, Oin finally winning his battle as Frerin sat on his mother's lap, licking the jam from his fingers as he was searched for any injuries. Thorin knew the healer wouldn't find any, he'd already checked himself, still he allowed it for peace of mind.  
  
"More upset to be truthful. They had no idea what was going on, they want to meet you and Frerin tomorrow." Dis said.   
  
"I don't wanna." Frerin whined.   
  
"We'll be with you," Kili promised.  
  
"Both of you?"   
  
"I'm sure Fili and Kili have important things to attend to Frerin, maybe they could meet up afterwards." Billa asked, not wanting to get the prince's into trouble as the blonde shook his head. "We'll be there Ree."  
  
"You both have open court next week," Thorin reminded them, but knew it was no use. It really was hard saying no to a babe.  
  
"Papa?" Oh Mahal he knew what was coming.   
  
"Yes little one?"  
  
"Will you come to?" Frerin looked at Fili and Kili, "I want you guys there as well, but I was finkin.."   
  
"We will all come," Dis smiled "It will be good for the kingdom." When Billa raised her eyebrows she elaborated, "Many of the dwarves have heard about Frerin, but haven't met him. It would be good to organize a small party, several of the lords and ladies have been itching to run off with the little babe."  
  
"That would be nice," Billa admitted, "I haven't had the chance to meet any other dwarves or their families yet outside the company."  
  
An odd gurgle had them all silent.

"What was that?" Oin asked as Frerin smiled.

"It was Kili's belly!"  
  
"No it wasn't!"   
  
"Uh huh it was, it made that noise all the time when we was coming here."   
  
"Good thing I made soup then," Billa stood, brushing at her trousers. "Would you all like some?"  
  
The princes looked eager until Dis stepped forward, "We'd love to, but my sons have already promised me a lovely cooked meal."   
  
Thorin was blinking at his nephews, who looked as equally confused. "When did we promise that?" Kili asked before Fili elbowed him. "You can cook?" Thorin hissed, earning a scowl from Fili.   
  
His eldest seemed to catch onto his mother's schemes quite quickly. Too quickly one might say, but Thorin couldn't find himself complaining as they all left.   
  
"You owe me one Thorin," Oin grumbled patting his round belly as he left, "That soup smells fantastic."  
  
"Are you staying papa?" Frerin asked around a yawn.   
  
The king looked at Billa, who still seemed to processing that everyone was gone, and she was infact alone with him. "If it's okay with your mother."  
  
Her eyes locked onto his and Thorin swallowed hard. "Of course it is, I'll be right back."  
  
Billa spooned the soup into three bowls, breaking of chunks of warm,soft bread. Loading up the silver tray she made her way back into her main room, Thorin was sitting on the large bench, cushions surrounding him. It was too familiar and she almost dropped the food.  
  
"I think everything has finally caught up with him," Thorin whispered as Billa managed to get the tray to the table. Frerin was snuggled into the king, mouth open wide and looking very comfortable.  
  
"He never does deal well with being told off." She smiled, running a hand over her own face. Billa could have strangled Dis with her own braids, infact she just might. She wasn't ready for Thorin.    
  
Thorin looked down at the bundle in his arms, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Large fingers brushing at silken curls. All Billa had ever wanted was this, now it was here for her and she couldn't quite reach out. Couldn't move past everything that had happened. "You gave him a sword Thorin." She whispered, but the venom was still there. "Who gives children weapons?"  
  
"When he came here he was already handling a bow?" Thorin blinked, careful not to raise his voice.  
  
"The arrows weren't even sharp," Billa snapped,"He was using the bow on targets, not other children. They are children Thorin, my child and I will not let him run around with weapons. Dwarf or not it simply isn't done."   
  
Thorin shuffled Frerin onto the bench, propping the cushions around him so that he would not fall. He closed the gap between them, the soup going cold. She came to his shoulder and she caught the scent of soap and earth but now he seemed much taller, towering above her.   
  
"He is my child as well."  
  
"For five years I raised him on my own," she placed her hands on her hips, almost enjoyed the way that he flinched. Yet when he opened his eyes they were cold, his voice as sharp as the stone he lived in.

"Yet you brought him back, and now he has his father and he will learn to defend himself."  
  
"They are babes!" Billa could feel the tears in her eyes, her throat starting to burn.  
  
"I WILL NOT LOSE YOU BOTH!" Thorin roared hands almost grabbing her, Frerin bolting upright and Billa ran to hush him smoothing down his hair as she put him to bed in the next room.   
  
When she came back Thorin still stood head bent so low his chin almost touched his chest. He did not look her in the eye, and spoke to the rug. "I will not lose you, nor will I let the families under this mountain know the pain of burying a child. Not again."  
  
"Thorin..." Billa wanted to touch him, to ease the pain in her chest, but she was angry. Oh she was so angry her hands shook at her side and her throat bobbed with the effort of holding back tears. "He is only five, we don't even reach maturity until were thirty three, Kili told me he didn't hold a weapon until he was twenty eight!"   
  
"I know," Thorin croaked, and when he dragged his head up Billa saw that his eyes were red, but there were no tears.   
  
"When Smaug came we were all defenseless, our weapons did us no good, nor our years of training." He began to pace the room, picking up a piece of bread and squeezing it in his hands. Crumbs scattered the floor but Billa didn't care.

"When we wandered middle earth searching for a new home we were raided again and again. They went for the children, the thing that would make a dwarf lose all reason. I watched them slaughter babes too young to hold a weapon, I preformed funeral rights over graves that parents would not be able to find again. I listened to their cries and I will not do it again."  
  
"They are safe within the mountain." Billa's voice was small, she could not imagine losing her child. It would destroy her.   
  
Thorin only sighed, "There are dwarves in this mountain I do not trust.I do not know their faces, or their names. Our children will not suffer. Dwalin knows what he's doing, the swords are not sharp, they just learn the weight and how to hold it."   
  
He moved towards her again yet seemed to think better of it as he turned to the door grasping the handle and leaving without another word.  
  
Billa wasn't sure how long she stood there for once Thorin had left and the adrenaline had left her. Taking in great lungfuls of air, tears tracking her cheeks.   
  
Not for the first time she wondered why she was here why Frerin couldn't have just been content with books and pictures of dwarves. Why the company hadn't just thrown her to the side, it would have hurt but it was nothing compared to the knife wound in her chest. When all she had now were memories of Thorin's warmth on her skin, when he was so close it was almost a physical pain.   
  
Was there a place for her here anymore or anywhere for that matter? Her little boy was a prince of the mountain and while she would get the courage to confront Thorin on that. And confront Thorin she would, Billa was scared that she was not needed. That she had never truly been needed, that after all was said and done she was a foolish hobbit. Too brash to be Baggins and to fond of her pillow to be a Took.  
  
Children were not meant to know how to wield weapons, they were meant to learn conkers and tag. Catching frogs and crickets, splashing in mud puddles and dragging their feet through the house.  
  
Although she was not stupid and could understand the dwarves reasoning, the pain of losing a babe never went away. Billa had known hobbits go mad with the grief. It was only natural they took such drastic steps after what they had been through. Still it went against all of her instincts, to watch her baby hold such things. To watch even the dwarven children filled her with dread, they were so tiny and full of joy.

She trusted Dwalin however, he had a way with children that betrayed his appearance. Even unhappy it would be unfair to pass judgement that he was a danger to them. Thorin had said the swords were blunt, well she would just have to go and see for her self wouldn't she?  
  
Shaking her head Billa went to run a bath, mixing in something that smelled of lavender and created heaps of bubbles. Sinking into the water she closed her eyes, could imagine Thorin's lips brushing her own. What was she going to do?

 

  
                                                                                                x

 

  
Thorin bit his knuckles as marched back to his own rooms, kicking off his boots and sinking down to the bed. What was he doing? Billa had not come back for him. No matter what his heart desired, and it scared him to think he had lost all chance with her. Yet in the gloom he could see that spark in her eyes. As if daring him to make the first move this time, that if her were to brush his hands over her body she would shudder in pleasure instead of turning him away.   
  
Yet what could he do to break this tension between them? Was there even anything he could do to ease her pain? Billa was not a dwarf and he could not offer her jewels, in fact he was pretty sure that would earn him a slap. Or to be hit over the head with a frying pan. Again. Still there must be something he could give to her, even if it just allowed her to stay in the same room as him. Earned her trust when it came to their son.  
  
He felt a weariness tugging at him as he forced himself to move. It would do no good to sulk in his rooms, no matter how much he wanted to. He would speak to Bofur and Bifur who seemed to know a lot of Billa, and may have some ideas for him. For now he had to meet with Balin and go through several reports. Changing quickly he made his way from his chamber, thankful no one was around to see him sneak past Billa's room.  
  



End file.
